When Sandra Bullock comes to look back on 2010, it’s likely that all she see is a slate of total misery.
There’s been divorce. There’s been public exile. There’s been heartbreak so profound and all-encompassing that only the adoption of a baby could heal it. It hasn’t been a good year for Sandra Bullock at all. Until now, that is, because last night Sandra Bullock won a Teen Choice Award. You know who else won a Teen Choice Award? Justin Bieber.
So, you see, it doesn’t matter how many tattooed Nazi fetishists her husband slept with, or how emotionally vulnerable she’s become, or how freakishly rigid all that cosmetic surgery has left her face, according to the teenagers of America Sandra Bullock is still as popular as a stupid-haired infant with a girl’s voice and 400 different songs about Bebo. That’s something, isn’t it? No?
The Teen Choice Awards – formerly the Oh Let’s Just Give Something To Bieber And Something To Twilight And Then We Can All Go Home Awards – are the teenage version of the People’s Choice Awards, only less depressing because teenagers are supposed to like bland mass-produced rubbish but fully-grown adults definitely aren’t. And, boy oh boy, they took place last night.
We’re not going to spoil all the surprises from last night’s Teen Choice Awards – partly because they’re not broadcast until tonight, and partly because the physical act of telling you that George Lopez put on a dress and pretended to be a Kardashian sister would fill us with so much unrelenting self-loathing that we’d end up addicted to barbiturates by the end of this paragraph – but we can tell you that Sandra Bullock won a very special prize, as People reports:
The actress, 46, surprised the crowd at L.A.’s Universal Amphitheater on Sunday, when she accepted the award for choice movie actress in a drama for her Oscar-winning role in The Blind Side. Bullock invited her “sweet friend” Betty White, who she joked hadn’t been a teen “since 1919,” onto the stage… The two then shimmied together to Lil Jon’s “Get Low.”
Now, you see, why didn’t Sandra Bullock do that when she won an Oscar? Surely, as pleasant as her speech was, it was nothing like as dignified as if she’d chosen to dance around with an 88-year-old woman to a song about sweaty balls. Maybe, just maybe, if Sandra Bullock had done that during the Oscars, her husband wouldn’t have shagged that tattoo model and she’d still be happily married. Ever thought of that Sandra? Huh?
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Jennifer says
Aw, don’t pick on Sandra! I like her, still, haha. This was pretty funny, though.
The TCA’s are pretty much a joke. But then again, so is just about every award show these days. It’s all about what’s trendy to like, not what is actually talent. I usually don’t tune in for anything unless it’s a Comedy Central Roast or the AFI Award. Mike Nichols, in particular, was a good one, I thought. ;)