Russell Crowe has made a revolutionary decision that defies the central motive of most forms of entertainment – he believes that women wearing almost nothing, jumping up and down and barely concealing their pom-poms are not appropriate for sporting events.
What?!?!? Yes, we were as shocked as you inevitably are. Russell Crowe, phone-chucking Oscar-winning actor and part-owner of the South Sydney Rabbitohs Rugby Club (what are Rabbitohs? Is that like Cheerios made of Rabbits?), has decided in conjunction with other team owners to relieve the club's cheerleaders of their team-supporting duties. The cheerleaders – who often wear fishnet stockings and miniskirts bedazzled with tassells – may find their own form of support by way of a good sports bra.
Of course, we enjoy the occasional wardrobe malfunction brouhaha as much as the next sports fan, but it seems Russell Crowe and his crew is worried about making the rugby events family-friendly. And what says family more than a bunch of buff dudes getting all bloody, knocking the living snot – and sometimes teeth – out of each other? Nonetheless, Russell Crowe expressed the following statement on the matter:
“It makes women uncomfortable and it makes blokes who take their son to the football also uncomfortable. We examined game day and wanted to contemporise and make the focus (on) football."
The cheerleaders will be replaced by a band of percussionists, who hopefully won’t succumb to the same fate as the scandalous ladies by performing with only strategically placed mallets and cymbals.
However, we beg to pose the question, what is sport without slutty cheerleaders? Does humankind even remember what the world was like before everything had sex appeal? There may be some allusion to those days in history books, or an old-timer or two that can spin tales of time about the days when innocent children didn’t have post traumatic stress disorder because of over-exposed starlets exiting their cars in a manner that shows the world whether or not they’re fans of the Brazilian wax. Hopefully, this radical throwback to the days of yore will be a positive career move for Russell Crowe's fighting Rabbitohs. If not, he can still have fun with his flourishing music career, so long as he learns his own lessons and avoids wearing any miniskirts himself.
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Lentil says
That’s Russell Crowe for you though – he’s all about the family values, like not showing excessive flesh and hitting hotel workers in the head with telephones.
Jonez says
Slutty, big-breasted cheerleaders are deeply ingrained in US football, but more of a newish concept in the rugby world which hasn’t fully translated yet. That’s why there’s this talk of people (even men!) being “uncomfortable” with it. In the US, they’ve been turning a deaf ear to any complaints for so long that people forget to even notice it anymore.
Michael Irwin says
“what is sport without slutty cheerleaders? Does humankind even remember what the world was like before everything had sex appeal?”
Get of your spandex-covered behind and take a look at some real sport – the Rugby World Cup is on right now. Go educate yourself ! In the Philly area Comcast is carrying it on a channel called “VS”, that also carries such non-spandex passtimes as bull-riding.
Oh yes, and leave your helmet on your motor bike: real men don’t dress like pansies to play sports !