It should strike fear into the hearts of every person alive to hear that The Rolling Stones are going to star in a movie. True, we're only basing that on having half-seen Mick Jagger in Freejack once, but that's enough.
However, you can all rest easy because it's only the songs of The Rolling Stones that are to be given their own movie. It's a cartoon called Ruby Tuesday made by some French people featuring 12 Rolling Stones songs. And that's sort of fine; so long as none of the Rolling Stones actually have to act in Ruby Tuesday – and none of the Rolling Stones songs featured on Ruby Tuesday come from later than 1978 – we'll be happy enough.
In a way, we can more or less see that a movie based on the last year of The Rolling Stones would be kind of entertaining, since it involves arguments with presidents, censorship in America and Communist China, giant Brazilian parties, debilitating brain injuries and an annoying Scottish man complaining about smoking. But the downside to a Rolling Stones movie – the thing that would stop anyone going to see a Rolling Stones movie – is that The Rolling Stones would have to act in it, and that's not something anybody wants to see.
In his time, Mick Jagger has made more cinematic turds than every other rock star (apart from Phil Collins) while the news that Keith Richards will appear in Pirates Of The Caribbean 3 only makes us want to go and see it less. We don't know if Ron Wood has been in any films but if he has, we're almost certain that they'd be shit.
However, Mick Jagger seems to have discovered a way to make a Rolling Stones film that doesn't put everyone off their dinner – he's co-producing Ruby Tuesday, a cartoon Rolling Stones movie that a) only features Rolling Stones songs and b) hasn't got any of the Rolling Stones in it. According to Billboard:
The Rolling Stones, long identified with their lips-and-tongue logo, are about to get the cartoon treatment in "Ruby Tuesday," an animated film featuring 12 of their songs set to begin production later this year. EuropaCorp. and Mick Jagger's Jagged Films are co-producing the project, which will be written and directed by Paul and Gaetan Brizzi. The story is described as "a Faustian tale of a single mother searching for happiness in New York." The film's song selection has not been finalized, though presumably the well-known title track will be included.
We actually know an expert of arty Faustian French cartoons about single mothers in New York searching for happiness set to hits like Sister Morphine, Cocksucker Blues and Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo, and he seems to think that Ruby Tuesday will easily make it into the top ten of arty Faustian French cartoons about single mothers in New York searching for happiness set to hits like Sister Morphine, Cocksucker Blues and Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo.
Read more:
Stones Say Hello To Animated Tuesday – Billboard
[story by Stuart Heritage]