The best way to start off any gossip piece based primarily on conjecture and hoodoo is to do this: OMG! R-PATTZ IZ GOIN 2B A SOOPER HERO!!
And, if the rumours are true the infinitely wooden Mister Pattinson will be taking the lead role in the sequel to 2003 flop Daredevil.
According to reports, Twilight: Eclits director David Slade has signed on to commit career hari-kiri by doing the directorial equivalent of playing chess ie. moving wooden pieces around hoping that they take one another in order to inject a bit of life and chemistry into the whole affair.
The original Daredevil was a superhero film for the Spiderman generation and was made off the back of the success of X-Men and Spiderman by a cynical Hollywood who, once balls-deep into a cash cow, are reluctant to pull out. The original film, despite having a cast made-up almost exclusively of A-Listers (and Coolio, who was cut out), was a flop despite receiving relatively favourable reviews.
Almost ten years later, the next generation of Hollywood’s most-wooden will be clamouring to get involved with the sequel which has seemingly earned its resurrection from the success of the most recent Batman franchise. Reports doing the rounds state:
“It’s a bit?Batman?Begins. The bad guy will learn who Daredevil really is and tries to destroy him ? but not via the usual methods.”
While it is too early to speculate on the exact plotline of the film, it seems as though Daredevil’s blindness will be exploited by some nefarious date-rapist who will spike his drink before revealing his identity both physically and sexually on a live webcast.
Or maybe that’s just the link to Twilight that makes us think that.
Of course, there is a definite correlation between Robert Pattinson’s career and Daredevil. One a plastic, 2D character with little to speak to his development as a human being apart from being blind and the other, Robert Pattinson, a man so blind to decent roles that could see him improve and advance as an actor that he might as well be hammering around his home banging into the furniture.
Still, there’s nothing to say that “R-Pattz” won’t make one of the finest bargain bin superhero films of all time. We’re looking forward to its straight-to-DVD release, slated for… oh… who cares?
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Cookie Monster says
As the ninety some-odd minutes that I spent watching the first one has yet to be returned to me, I cannot fathom watching this ‘new’ version. I know that Hollywood is a business that has little to do with making things that are worthwhile, or have any redeeming quality aside from that of making money. But for crying out loud, please take the cash cock out of your collective mouth long enough to understand that people will pay to watch good movies, and that those don’t have to go “boom” every 30 seconds, have 300 million dollar CGI budgets, or have human-ish lumps of meh headlining to pull-in the pants-peeing squeenies.
Betty b says
I am sure someone said ” straight to DVD ” about Twilight.
Bobby says
Please no.
CatWhisperer says
Ok, I am going to just say it. I am (obviously) one of the few who didnt hate the first Daredevil (I know, I loose any credibility I may have gotten in the future). I used to collect comics, Daredevil among them, and love the superhero movies. And I enjoy watching RP on the screen. For me, a movie is just a 2 hour getaway, so it doesnt have to be earth stoppingly great, just entertaining.
I would also agree my taste in movies is lacking at times. But hey, what can I say. :)
Mithaearon says
Isn’t this the guy who played that tree in the twilight film?
CAtWhisperer says
Not a tree, a hat rack!
gilbert wham says
If all you want’s a 2-hour getaway’, have you considered ketamine? It’s cheaper than the pictures.