Robert Downey Jr knows a good thing when he sees it – like handguns, lots of Class A drugs and movies directed by Guy Ritchie.
OK OK OK, so Robert Downey Jr doesn’t know a good thing when he sees it. Probably seven out of ten times he knows a good thing when actually he sees a rubbish thing. But Robert Downey Jr does know what things will make him richer than his wildest dreams, and he chases those things like a dog.
According to reports, Robert Downey Jr has signed a contract securing him to Iron Man 3 and an Avengers movie. This is particularly good news for anyone who, while enjoying the original Iron Man, really wants to see Iron Man get overtaken by an alien, grow an evil haircut and then dancing the Twist with Kirsten Dunst while cooking some eggs. For Superhero Law states that all of the above must happen in Iron Man 3.
Without a trace of uncertainty, we can definitely say that Iron Man was the best superhero movie of the summer, apart from that other one that everyone liked more. Definitely.
And because it was so successful, several new Iron Man movies are being lined up. There’s going to be Iron Man 2, where Don Cheadle will take the place of Terrence Howard, and that’s inevitably going to be followed up by Iron Man 3, where Don Cheadle will take the place of Gwyneth Paltrow, and then there’s going to be an Avengers movie, where Don Cheadle will take the place of the Incredible Hulk, Thor, Captain America, all the villains, all the extras, the director, the rest of the crew and everyone who goes to see it at the cinema.
But one role that Don Cheadle won’t be getting his hands on is the role of Iron Man. Robert Downey Jr has locked that mother down for history, as Variety reports:
Robert Downey Jr. is living up to his title as Marvel Studios‘ Iron Man. In addition to starring in “Iron Man 2,” Downey has agreed to return as billionaire Tony Stark and his crime-fighting alter ego in “The Avengers” and a third “Iron Man” installment, guaranteeing the thesp a superhero-sized payday and his own ongoing franchise as part of a four-picture deal with the comicbook company.
That’s wonderful news. We genuinely thought that Iron Man was a good wedge of stupid summer fun, and that’s a trend that’s bound to continue in Iron Man 2.
Then, obviously, Iron Man 3 will be such a stinking bloated corpse of a shit idea that everyone will start actively hating the franchise, and that in turn will kick off a relapse of Robert Downey Jr’s well-chronicled substance abuse problems, meaning that all the footage of him in The Avengers will have to be taken from the first three Iron Man movies and/or Chaplin because he’ll be an uncontrollable mess by that point.
But, hey, something to look forward to.
Ben says
Stupid post. You should be ashamed.
Beth says
I don’t care how bad the Iron Man movies get, as there is a bar next door to the theater I go to.
Stuper says
I would like to stab your eyes out!!!
ron says
you really are an idiot and obviously dont know what your talking about and if thats your take on the future of this movies follow ups you should should take my advise and leave that up to the pro’s and stick to writing something you no about, cause succesful trilogys is not!