What do you get if you cross a middle-aged, shouty, slightly Marilyn Manson-ish rock star and a film franchise so tired and pointless that the thought of another sequel fills every right-minded moviegoer with a kind of creeping dread?
You get Halloween 9, that's what. And Halloween 9, if you hadn't worked it out, is the latest sequel to the tired and pointless Halloween franchise that is to be written and directed with middle-aged, shouty, slightly Marilyn Manson-ish rock star Rob Zombie. That's good news for anyone in the rubbish horror film/rubbish industrial singer crossover demographic, but not too many other people.
Maybe we're being a bit hard on the recently announced Rob Zombie-helmed Halloween sequel. After all, the original 1978 Halloween movie launched the film career of Jamie Lee Curtis – a single fact that probably makes a lot of Dads very happy – and the enduring legacy of Michael Myers, the stabby nutter in a William Shatner mask, not the annoying bloke from Austin Powers. However, the Halloween sequels were mostly a lot of balls.
Halloween 2 was described by Halloween creator John Carpenter as "about as scary as an episode of Quincy," and that was probably the best of the seven Halloween sequels. Michael Myers killing a bunch of kids once; good. Michael Myers killing a bunch of kids eight times; not so good. So an announcement that Michael Myers is to kill a bunch of kids for a ninth time seems like nothing short of madness.
But a glimmer of hope comes with the announcement that Halloween 9 is to be written and directed by Rob Zombie, a terrible industrial singer turned surprisingly effective horror director. Zombie's House Of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects were authentically scary films which seemed like a breath of fresh air after the wisecracking excesses of the Scream years. And he seems to know what he wants from his new Halloween film. It's not a sequel or a remake, but a 'reimagining', he says:
"The look and the feel is going to be completely different. 'Halloween' started off as a very terrifying concept, a terrifying movie. But over the years, Michael Myers has become a friendly Halloween mask. When it came to the point where you could buy a Michael Myers doll that was cute-looking and press its stomach and play the 'Halloween' theme, you knew the scare factor was gone. But I think the story and the situation is scary. All it needed was someone to come in and to take a totally different approach to make it scary again. To me, that's the challenge and that's the fun."
Actually, scrap that 'glimmer of hope' bit; we just noticed that Rob Zombie is also going to be the music supervisor on Halloween 9. So two hours of ridiculous Limp Bizkit-y crap, then.
Read more:
Zombie plots new mayhem for Halloween – Reuters
[story by Stuart Heritage]
Nathan says
Wind your neck in. If i remember rightly the soundtrack to the Devil’s Rejects was awesome with Otis Rush and all kinds of good shit. I don’t think there was one limp bizkit style song in it.
You miserable fuckwits.
Cynicism has it’s place but surely just once something must kind of excite you?
brandi says
hey, if i remember rightly, um rob zombie totally kicked ass on his last two movies, maybe he is the only person who can bring back the halloweens. and he said himself it wasnt going to be halloween 9..it was going to be way different, so cut him a fucking break guys, hes like a movie/music god.
lkjhklkjhlkjl says
rob zombie created the therey