Rihanna Releases A Happy Little Ditty About Suicide

Rihanna, Russian Roulette, Rated RWhy, just the other day we were wondering why there aren’t any more songs about Rihanna shooting herself in the chest.

And here’s Russian Roulette. It’s serendipity, that’s what it is. Russian Roulette is the first single to be released from Rihanna’s new album Rated R – the R, if you’re wondering, stands for Really Bloody Depressing.

Will Rihanna’s Russian Roulette take off? We hope not. The last thing we need is a bunch of copy-cat suicide songs from lesser singers – although insiders have informed us that Ciara‘s forthcoming Do The Toasterbath and Amerie‘s Let’s Push Scorpions Up Our Bumholes are actually pretty catchy.

We blame Chris Brown. Of course we do. If it wasn’t for the damned nude photos and Chris Brown’s horrific attack on her face earlier this year, then would Rihanna be releasing a song about suicide? No way – we heard that her original choice for a comeback single was a song called I’m Just A Giddy Gumdrop Girl (My Heart Goes Boing Boing Boing). But we can’t change the past – Chris Brown did attack Rihanna, and therefore her comeback single is Russian Roulette. EW has more on the song:

The midtempo tune opens with a screaming processed-guitar solo that segues into an eerie-sexy bass rumble… Soon thereafter comes the big pull-out-the-stops hook: ?And you can see my heart beating/You can see it through my chest/I?m terrified but I?m not leaving.? The music ends dramatically with a single gunshot.

And, just to push the message home, the artwork for Russian Roulette shows Rihanna wrapped in barbed wire. This either suggests that Rihanna is in a truly dark and edgy place at the moment, or that she’s depressed because she ended up getting accidentally tangled up in a fence during an abortive apple scrumping mission and now she’s worried about tetanus. We just don’t know.

But perhaps we shouldn’t be too surprised by Russian Roulette. After all, Rihanna has never shied away from flirting with dark imagery in the past. Remember Unfaithful, where Rihanna compared the act of infidelity to murder? Or Shut Up And Drive, where Rihanna harrowingly relived the nightmare of being trapped in a taxi with a needlessly chatty driver? Or Umbrella, where Rihanna sang about, um, some umbrellas? The woman is essentially Marilyn Manson.

Oh, we’ve teased you for long enough. Here’s Russian Roulette by Rihanna. If you find yourself affected by any of the issues raised in the song, then help can be found here. Oh, and also you’re an idiot…

What did you make of that, then? Personally, we hope that the song disappears without trace. Not necessarily because the subject matter is too dark for its intended audience, but because we’re worried that Chris Brown will try something similar in an attempt to get back into everyone’s good books again. And, really, we don’t want to see any photos of him with barbed wire wrapped around his nipples. We’re depressed enough as it is, thanks.

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  1. Tom J says

    Why does the cover feature a picture of her covered in barbed wire? I can’t help but think that Rihanna doesn’t actually know what Russian Roulette is.

  2. ickynicky says

    I agree with this article 100%. This song needs to go away, far far away. Okay Rihanna you are hurtin, depressed, sad about losing your abusive BF, but you know what… THIS IS NOT A GOOD FIRST SINGLE. I don’t mind that she doesn’t want to pump out some club tracks, fine. But a song about playin russian roulette (with yourself), absolutely not. She could have put this on her album, and it would have been fine. Don’t go dropping this non-sense off to be played on radios throughout the country! I am a huge fan of Eminem, and believe me this song doesn’t even come close to the disturbing songs he has put on his albums. However, he never dropped those as singles. It just shows a lack of taste. Not to mention this whole edgy crap is really starting to make her look like a wannabee.

  3. me says

    YOU ARE AN IDIOT. i bet you would’nt play russian roulette with her. For that matter, neither would I. but its a great song, and it IS catching on. SORRY. heard it on the radio 5 times this morning. =)

  4. me says

    maybe its just wat she chose to do. she doesnt have to but a gun to her head in the single cover. DUH. its called being creative. i wouldnt expect yall to know that. yall probably live over the pond. where you dont get a lot of culture and creativity.

  5. Tom J says

    How can I possibly argue with such a well authored and succinct defense? Your reading/writing age is clearly 12 years old or more and I just don’t think I can forge an appropriate response to such wisdom. Oh wait, am I confusing wisdom with mental retardation again?

  6. gilbert wham says

    Christ, can someone not punch her again? But this time, make sure she knows it’s because of the irritating nasal way she sings. WHY does she honk through her nose like that? It’s upsetting.

  7. says

    will you just get over it god who gives a shit the single cover is artistic edgy and different why dont you shut the f***k up Stuart Heritage who ive never heard of before knowone gives you the right to hope that russian roulette “will not take off” its up to the fans not you so shut your b***ch ass face and aammm do you not understand why it might be a bit depreesin she did get bet up by her boyfriend you know maybe you have memory loss or something and rihanna is putting what happened to her into her music which is what a real artist does so dont talk shit about rihanna she is focusing on her music and dich heads like U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. bri says

    all Chris Breezy business aside i don’t really like this song that much, i mean i know she’s been throught it but this is not the way to come back. her hair is kind of cool i guess, but the song isn’t that good as a comeback more like just a song on an album. And Rated R? i don’t think that’s going to be a good album if all the songs are doomy and depressing. I guess Kanye and Jay Z wants everyone ( quoting Chris brown ” changed man) to hate Chris. But no one’s really feeling this but two grown men who are acting like kids.

  9. gigi09 says

    I really like this song…there are different ways to take what she is saying…some people can be hurting, or going thru a tough time in there point of there life, from a bad realationship…to feeling alone in this world…that things can be better….and LIFE IS LIKE russian roulette….YOU JUST HAVE TO TAKE A CHANCE. I dont take it as a suicide mission…That’s what music is all about…SELF-EXPRESSION!!!!!! And it can mean a million things! I give it to her!! Lov the song~

  10. JoeMomma says

    Yes sacchrine lyrics for a spoon fed public. With a catchy repetative tune.

    Lets not forget the subliminal message to make everyone collectively dumber.

  11. AreYouSerious? says

    This song isssss so demonic and depressing its terrible. umm to the author of this..sorry CHRIS HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HER ALTER EGO CHANGE…Rihanna has said that in the past she bust her brother in the face with a GLASS BOTTLE..she had issues from the get go all she needed was a reason to burst out into her true colors and she used CHRIS BROWN AS THE BAIT…im tellin you nuts that girl pushed that boy into beatin her ass…this was all apart of her demonic scheme for pity recognition fame and glory…yall idiots just fell to easy for it.

  12. gilbert wham says

    It’s ‘of whom I have never heard before’. Also, that is not how you fucking spell ‘no-one’. It’s alright to put all your swearword in here as well, by the way. Nobody minds.

  13. halo3v says

    Serious you are a dumbass
    and yes I’m serious.

    Stu again is completely on point. She is releasing a song ABOUT STAYING IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP.

    I survived one of those, I’m still in debt for the hospital stays.

    Great message for teenage girls, you know stay with the guy even if he beats this shit out of you and has gun.