Chief Mong and Spazz Honcho Ricky Gervais is to host the Golden Globe Awards again, which is great news for Ricky Gervais’ bank manager. Of course, we should point out that he’s shown remorse for all that ‘mong thing’, and by the end of the article, we will too.
For now, we’re mong mad.
If you remember, last time he hosted the Golden Globes, he ruffled a few feathers by mocking Scientology (good lad) and dry-heaving over the thought of Hugh Hefner’s penis (good work) and… well… in places, he was actually very good, which makes it very irritating for someone wanting to throw a jibe his way. He did go on to say mong though and we’re not letting that go because we’re lazy. Lazy mongs.
Anyway, Ricky Gervais is going to return to the podium at the annual awards gala in 2012, like a massive, massive mongo mong-mong.
Apparently, Gervais was voted in for the job by 83 entertainment spazzes from around the world (didn’t ask us though, did they? Idiot swine. Go hang) and he landed the gig despite a small but vocal minority who dissented. They probably called him a ‘mongy bastard’.
Of course, the people who didn’t like Gervais’ material from the last show were older members who found Gervais’ material in January insulting. Naturally, older members probably like jokes about women and ‘blacks’. That’s what old people like isn’t it?
Not people pulling spazz faces, which is obviously comedic genius.
One person casting a vote, who goes by the name of Judy Solomon, said:
“My worry was that he was insulting, and when I invite someone to my house, they don’t insult me, but this is show business. I guess I’m old-fashioned.”
She likes jokes about what it’s like to be a Jew probably. Hollywood loves those comics don’t they? ‘I’m a Jew! This is what it’s like being a Jew! Cuh! My mother is so Jewish! She Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew and oh, JEWJEWJEWJEW!‘
They don’t like it when Gervais praised the not-nominated “I Love You Phillip Morris” as being a movie in which two heterosexual men play two gay men “so the opposite of some famous Scientologists.”
Maybe he should adapt his mong jokes so they’re about Jewish spazzes. That’d be great wouldn’t it? THAT WOULD BE THE BEST JOKE EVER TOLD.
Oh God. Saying ‘mong’ is awful isn’t it? How dreadful we now feel. It’s not a nice word. It’s terrible. We’re crying here. Look. This is remorse.
Can we host an award ceremony in America now? Is this how it all works? We’ve grown as people, honestly we have. Go on. We’ll ask for much less money than Gervais AND we won’t need a man girdle to hold us in our suits.
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Arthur ASCii says
WHAT KIND OF AN NAME IS MONG FIBBERS ANYWAY?????/ If that is even your real name. etc.
Cookie Monster says
They could invite Sarah Silverman to tone him down a notch via a co-host gig.
Already suggested?
This is my vote, then.