Renee Zellweger, a woman who looks as though she has a tiny black hole at the centre of her face which is slowly drawing all her features together, has this week been seen out of her house on her own despite being a celebrity!
Being at our core, a gossip site, we too will manage to drag a few hundred words out of a woman going to get something to eat but without bringing you the gawdy pictures of her taking down an antelope and rending it limb from limb before roaring at the assembled paparazzi.
Okay. We might have made that part up but it’s a damn-sight more exciting than a story about yet another Hollywood actress splitting up with yet another Hollywood ‘super-hunk’ in an event that is no more remarkable than seeing ‘Spray editor Mof Gimmers nipping down to the shop to buy milk and getting distracted by kicking a puppy to death.
Her former ‘beau’ Bradley Cooper (him out of the A-Team) was also seen stunting about the world looking forlorn and love-sick this week which must categorically prove that breaking up in Hollywood’s just worse than anywhere else because there’s always a camera around to capture your pathetic bleating and moaning into your Blackberry.
But of course, there’s very little of that actually going on here.
No tawdry kiss-and-tell stories, no massive front page spreads in glossy cloisters of human despair talking about how much they hate one another and if they’re ever in the same country together then the entire earth will implode into the same black hole which is currently enveloping Zellweger’s face. No. Nothing. Just a woman out eating a bit of brunch and buying a book while listening to two different MP3 players.
This is hardly the outlook that we want from our celebrities. If they don’t fall into some kind of week-long grief coma which only ends with them coming out to sit in a chat show and sob into their hands in some rehearsed puppet show engineered by a publicist then we’re not interested, are we?
How dare they not give us the story we want? Oh well, we’ll just have to make something up…
…Oops.
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woman looks like says
Woman looks like she fell out of the ugly tree and smacked every tree branch on the way down with her face. WTF is she doing wearing a bunny costume? I know Hugh Heffner is getting old, but I didn’t think he was blind!
Bored says
Hey Dumbass ;-) You can be so critical but yet not know that ‘crashing loneliness’ doesn’t even make any sense, lol, I would imagine you mean ‘crushing’ unless ‘loneliness’ is a a car or other vehicle-capable of being crashed. It’s easier to point fault out in others though isn’t it(?)