There was a rumour floating around yesterday that Dannii Minogue had signed a brand new million-pound record deal.

You probably reacted just like we did – by losing all sense of perspective, wrapping yourself in as much carpet as you could find and trying to convince the operator of the nearest industrial woodchipper that you were actually a tree. The world is full of bad things, but none are quite as bad as the thought of Dannii Minogue becoming a singer again – not least a singer with an X Factor level of exposure.

Fortunately, though, it’s not true. Step down from the ledge. Switch off the gas. Remove the carpet. Dannii Minogue has denied the rumours. There is no record deal. But there is a clothing line, a reality show and a continued presence on X Factor, so it’s not all sunshine and monkeys.

Speaking objectively, it’d make sense for Dannii Minogue to sign a record deal. After all, she’s an X Factor judge, and X Factor treats its judges right. Look at Cheryl Cole – Fight For This Love was played endlessly on the show in the run-up to its release, and no doubt that if Louis Walsh ever decided to become a singer, he’d also be allowed to dress up like a Flashdance Nazi and perform a sub-Janet Jackson routine to his first single during a results show as well. And the same would obviously go for Dannii Minogue.

That’s why it wasn’t a surprise yesterday to hear that Dannii had signed a million-pound record deal with Ministry Of Sound and that she was making an ITV2 reality show about it. Yes, she’s pregnant, but that didn’t make anyone question the deal – since when has pregnancy stopped anyone from providing anonymous vocals on a selection of painfully outdated dance tracks?

Sadly, though, the news turned out to be a big lie – one that Dannii Minogue was only too happy to correct on her Twitter account:

Sunday Mirror not quite right… Haven’t signed with record label. ITV2 doco about launching #ProjectD #fashion range.

In the end, what with X Factor, her clothing line, the reality show about her clothing line and her new baby, Dannii Minogue would have simply been too busy to relaunch her music career at this time. And that’s why we have to make sure that a) Dannii Minogue wins X Factor again, b) everyone loves Dannii Minogue’s clothing line and watches the reality show and c) Dannii Minogue remains pregnant for the rest of her life. It sounds like hard work – but if it’s the only way to stop her releasing music, it’s easily worth the effort.

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