It’s that time of the week again where we put on industrial strength rubber gloves, strap on our personal protective equipment, snap our goggles into place and go for a swim in the murky depths of the hecklerspray post bag. There really is nothing more refreshing on a muggy, humid day than going for a swim through the tepid bile that you lot spray out of your brains.
Unfortunately Editor Mof has been forced into mediating a disagreement between two hecklerspray writers which has already seen Kris Silver thrown into a pile of discarded post bags where- unfortunately- his left hand dissolved due to the build up of acid. In hindsight he’ll feel that suggesting to Paul Pencott that he take on the role of Kris’ “business hand” has been his worst professional decision to date.
Nevertheless, while they all engage in a fight to the death, let’s take a look at how many of you have suggested that we die in a fire this week.
First off the bat this week is the rather surprising news that an article on Tom Hardy garnered the most vicious criticism. And you thought it was just the big gun celebrities that had a mental fan-base… unless this actually is the real Tom Hardy, gracing our little site with his presence…
Clearly you are a moron. it's a shame for you that you are crippled with an insignificantly above average ability to present the written word, your article based entirely on your own ability to subjectify your own misunderstanding of the languague english, or even be open to metaphor, but then that's why you write poorly for a blog site and nothing noteworthy beyond. i credit most people in the world with intelligence. To say Working for a franchise is similar to working for Starbucks is not a sign of me being ungrateful, I am very grateful, I'm over the fkn moon asswit. I'm saying in answer to whats the difference between indie movies and blockbuster types is this? ( and this is a metaphor Fukfphace so hang on to your fillings because you are already a twat this might back fire for you again) one is like working in a boutique store which isn't a chain where it relies soley on the character it creates as a whole largely without large financial backing and the other is like working for a big franchise i.e Starbucks, which is largely financially backed and isn't in the business (big business) of failing, there is a lot more pressure therefore as an artist, to bring interesting character work to an already established franchise which does well enough without having its ? Artists? rock that boat, thus it is in fact an honor and a privelage to serve in a movie of this magnitude or ?Starbucks? and create a new kind of fkn pumpkin frappucino? dikpiece
From Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy who is playing Bane in Batman. Tom Hardy who, according to research, regularly posts on IMDB under the name included in the email address submitted to the site. Does Tom Hardy actually hate us?
But wait a minute… does Tom Hardy have another personality? Kel got in touch to leave this comment:
God I hate people sometimes.. Mof Gimmers is a douchebag.. and Joe Momma is a tool
That comment was left in reply to “Tom’s” comment. Of course, basic knowledge of the internet says that you can’t reply to a post until it is approved. Both of these appeared in our inbox at the same time. Why does Kel have the same IP address as the person purported to be Tom Hardy? Wait… could they be the same person? It’s definitely possible.
Who’s “Big Rex”, then? He shoved this through our letter box encased in a flaming envelope:
I would like to see Tom Hardy beat Mof Gimmers to a pulp with his elbows and knees and pour an iced frappuccino over his unconscious pile of limp..
He's talking about branding and custom and Mof is talking out of it's @SS.. all he's saying is its hard to get heard in a bigmachine and you have to work even harder to please your audience, but then that's why you get paid the bigger bucks because its the big league.. there are some real idiots about
But good ol’ Rex has the same IP address as both ‘Tom Hardy’ and ‘Kel’. All of them show a flagrant disregard for the written English language despite claiming that our writer has a “misunderstanding of the languague english”.
Still, it’s not all negative. The lovely folk from Tom Hardy Party are willing to listen to the spoken word of someone who may or may not be pretending to be Tom Hardy.
Hmm?.this might very well be the real Tom Hardy, based on what he's written before. The style is similar.
If you're sick of having your comments misconstrued, come to TomHardyParty.com (the best, largest and most awesome Tom Hardy site) and talk to us about it at our forum. Even if you are fake ?we?ll play along.
It’s so unlike hecklerspray to misconstrue someone’s statement and twist it for comic effect. That’s really not like us at all. Hang on a second… Tom Hardy’s back. But who is he?! WHO IS THIS PERSON?! Is it Tom Hardy? We just don’t know!
high end boutique indie at 30 million is the quote on Warrior.. even if it is pencilled at 70 mil.. no that's big.. for an indie.. very.. but it's still story character driven gamble for a studio, LG have got a really solid vehicle. Gamble will pay off, I believe, and no Chris Nolan is by know means churning out pish, but the size of the vehicle and the brand itself i.e Batman is still the relative comparison to Starbucks branding alone.. also working at an airport its a big stage a lot of airplanes landing and taking off a lot happening a lot to organise, easy to get lost out there it is a different beast.. question i believe was what the difference between working on an indie compared to a big block busting franchise.. answer simply nothing.. no difference between a 5 dollar performance and a 500 million dollar one, the love is the love and gratitude to play at all, but the field of operations is very very different
He’s not wrong. Whoever the hell he is. That doesn’t mean he’s not still annoyed at us…
No but i did forget to take a lot of other things into account including containment and I guess I fkd that up.. you guys are very clever over here.. I apologise, Tom Hardy clearly is an ungrateful and stupid whining douchebag.. who should stop moaning and be grateful.. he's bound to be Sh@t in TDKR.. got the message..
We are very clever, thanks for noticing. However, we didn’t say he was ungrateful or stupid just that he was being honest about finances which is something that few people are. Still, that’s the danger of fans getting involved and blowing things out of proportion, isn’t it?
Like Becky here:
This is the internet. Bored fools take satisfaction in insulting complete strangers. Also, cat videos.
It’s true, we do make a living out of insulting complete strangers who might have said something that’s easily warped. What’s the hourly rate like on placating complete strangers like they’re your best mate? Oh… sorry.
As always, ‘Spray regular Cookie Monster sums up this whole sorry affair better than we can:
These comments show one of two things. Either sincere thespians of note are always at risk of gaining a following that includes mentally incompetent fans, or sincere fans of thespians are always at risk of following mentally incompetent celebrities.
It doesn’t answer the biggest question of all. Who is ‘Tom Hardy’ and will the ‘real’ be any good as Bane? Well, Editor Mof who wrote the article that started all this seems to think he’ll be pretty damn good. See real/fake Tom? We love you. It was all a gag. We still don’t know who the hell you are though.
Therefore, we lay down the gauntlet. Now that we’re all best pals again, why not send us a photo of you holding something saying “I hate Hecklerspray” to our email address and we’ll bow down and kiss your Bane-boots for being an incredibly good sport. Of course, if you’re just a basket case who happens to know Mr Hardy’s IMDB username… you worry us. Seek help.
‘Til next week, piss-streaks.
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!
grumpy old ratbag says
Love the way you all have the guts to show us your hate mail – I look forward to it and am seldom disappointed. Lord, what fools these mortals be!
I’m afraid the name Mof Gimmers sounds to me like the description of some kind of pervy sexual practice. Obviously I need to a) get out more and b) stop looking at Urban Dictionary. I have discovered some awful things whilst looking up words and phrases that my grandchildren say.
Best wishes to all, keep up the good work!!