Apart from the obvious benefits of tourism, there really doesn’t seem to be much point to the Royal Family. They remind hecklerspray of ghouls, hired to occupy large houses and rattle around staring at old oil paintings and eating from 200 year old plates. And that’s about it.
Of course, countries like America wish they had a royal family. They love the heritage of it all. Well, consider this Americans – The Queen is just our version of Paris Hilton. She’s wealthy for no reason and doesn’t understand how the world works.
At least Paris Hilton has the decency to live it up with purses filled with cocaine. That said, no-one wants to see the grainy sex-tape of Her Majesty and Prince Philip going at it hammer and tongues.
For too long, the Royal Family have been almost entirely pointless. They appear on our stamps and are the subject of the most boring national anthem in the universe (even more boring than the national anthem of the very boring planet of Meh where inhabitants are discouraged from doing anything that might quicken their weak hearts).
However, the new breed of blue bloods coming through seem to be headed up by a pair who are keen to prove that the Royal Family aren’t just a group of people who take up valuable space in Britain which could be used for something more interesting or useful.
And Prince William is stepping up to announce that he’d like people to try and kill him.
Now, it’s worth pointing out that he doesn’t want any old person to try and pass bullets through his well-bred torso, but rather, he is determined to serve on the front line Afghanistan, following in the footsteps of his younger brother, Prince Harry.
Fair play to him. If we were in the same position, it’s fair to assume our vast wealth would be spent getting drugs up our noses and indulging in very dubious sexual practises.
William has said that he wants to head to Afghanistan where Britain has some 10,000 troops as part of a NATO-led force fighting a fierce Taliban insurgency. Harry served in Afghanistan for 10 weeks but was withdrawn after media reported the deployment, which meant that they’d effectively painted a neon target on his back.
William says:
“My heart was in the army and that’s why I first joined them. It’s just a pity I didn’t get to Afghanistan. Which, you know, many people say ‘well that’s very understandable’.
“There are some slightly valid arguments as to why not, but many of them are hyped up as to why I couldn’t go.
“I still have hope and faith and a real determination to go out there.”
The mad fucker.
hoohaahee says
Incredible that in 21st century Britain, the monarchy exists at all.
Parasites, who’ve never worked a day in their lives.
Elitist, racist, classist snobs who don’t give a shite for anyone/thing outside of their own group of privileged sycophants. “Her majesty” has never been willing to pass the throne to her own son Charles, who, incidentally, is the first Prince of Wales in history to reach the age of 60 without becoming monarch. This alone shows how arrogant and selfish these individuals are.
I challenge any “patriotic” arseholes who advocate retaining the monarchy to explain their (totally illogical) views.
Come on! Let’s have it!
JoeMomma says
Whats more irritating is that they are still around here in Canada as well. On our money, on our stamps there’s still a ‘Governor General’ that acts like the Queen’s agent.
Whats the frackin’ point?
Neil Welton says
“Incredible that in 21st Century Britain. the Monarchy exists at all.” It is rather astonishing when you think about it. When I was growing up in England, I couldn’t fully grasp the “why” of it at first either. What was it about this Family? What is it about The Queen? Why is there a Queen? What is it about them that brings out this mass respect and reverence from my parents and school teachers – it was illogical.
I remember at the age of six watching Trooping The Colour on television. All this fuss over this woman. All this fuss because it was Her Birthday and she had been born. All these soldiers marching and parading before Her. As if they were slaves. As if to worship Her and the fact that she had been born. How envious I felt – that adults believed she had been Chosen by God to rule, rather than jealous little me.
A few months later I had to celebrate the birth of Prince William at school as well. How bizarre was all that! An entire primary school singing praises to God and also thanking Him for the birth of a “Royal” baby. Whatever that meant. Thanking Him for providing us with a future ruler and a King for our generation. Yet, by so doing, I began to realise that there is something there. That there is something about The Monarchy. Something magical and also quite fascinating. I also begin to learn that The Royal Family are not parasites, but that they do lots of work supporting our country and also charities in this very unique non-political and non-partisan way. I soon realised too over time that presidents in republics are far more likely to be elitist, racist and classist snobs. With their secret handshakes and sneering attitude towards those in the lower classes. Who couldn’t care less for anyone outside of their own privileged political clique. A clique of sycophants and slaves. A clique of arrogant and corrupt selfishness in which those after “the top job”, do not wait on time or custom, but knife all their opposition in the back. Whilst being funded by crooked businessmen and other vested interest parasites with the hands in the till.
Yes, it is quite clear to me that HooHaaHee makes a valid point.
For I have no idea why I am a most loyal subject of Her Majesty.
Radric CHAN says
@hoohaahee
It’s also amazing that in the 21st Century, people like yourself are still coming up with the same tired arguments.
The only reason you can claim “Elitist, racist, classist snobs” is that nobody thought about reforming the monarchy along relevant lines. And if you didn’t remember, Queen Elizabeth said she wasn’t going to retire before Prince Charles was even born.
I challenge you to explain why a republic (which is the only option of government if the monarchy was abolished) would be the best option without going about the usual tired arguments.
PS: Please don’t mistake me as being a monarchist. I have just about the same disagreements with them as I do with anti-monarchist. I prefer a monapublican (republican monarchy) anyway.
Radric CHAN says
Good, Go ahead. Nobody’s really stopping you. Not even the monarchy.
jerry in colorado says
Well, it’s like this: If you aren’t pro monarchy, please take a cold calculated approach to the whole subject and consider for a moment…or even more….on how much money tourism brings to the United Kingdom. The monarchy is the whole ball of wax isn’t it! What? Someone is going to fly there just to see Oxford? Take away all the history that centers, for the most part, around your royalty and you don’t have much to attract tourists. Google it. Billions. Go around London and mentally and visually subtract all the royalty related attractions. What do you have left? Just a pleasant city ….like Charlotte North Carolina and who will spend billions to visit that?
Stella says
Ha-ha-ha-ha……. OK, I’ve finished laughing. Princes in Afghanistan! Ha-ha-ha-haaaaa… Sorry, can’t help it.
Is anyone so stupid as to buy Willy’s harangue? That’s just a propaganda stunt thought up to lift cannon fodder’s spirits and provide “a noble instance of patriotism”.
I bet, Prince Harry was filmed somewhere in Saudi Arabia or similar to hoax flag-wavers. Even if he really was there, all 10,000 troops must’ve been guarding his royal butt.
The fact that such an atavistic archaic institution still lives off the taxpayers money speaks volumes of the Brit’s intellectual level.
It turns out “Big Mama” has been hard up lately — 63, 000,000 $ or so per year of state benefit only for employees’ wages (not to mention all her properties, assets and bank accounts she can’t touch ‘cos she hopes to take them to her grave) apparently aren’t enough to pay gas bills of her palaces, so she had the cheek to ask for yet another state subsidy. For an unaccountable reason Her Majesty’s request has been denied.
Stella says
Actually, there’s nothing in London for flag-wavers to wave their flags at except for the monarchy. ‘Cos you can’t wave your flags at museums and historical sites, can you?
In fact, monarchy could stay only and if only they paid their bills with THEIR own money and their snobbish arselickers’ donations.
Neil Welton says
Opinion polls show 80% of the British people support Monarchy. If you add the taxes paid by this 80% (“snobbish arselickers
Neil Welton says
There is nothing cyncial about Prince William’s or Prince Harry’s patriotism. The only cynicism around here is yours – for Harry has already served in Afghanistan (without the 10,000 troops guarding his butt) and Prince William has signalled his quiet determination to do so too. There is nothing wrong with proudly waving the flag of the nation of your birth or with
Canuck Constitutional Scholar says
I think the main problem with Canada becoming a republic is the fact that just about the entire Canadian Constitution would have to be re-written to accomplish this.
Given that it would be necessary to get all the provinces to agree on whatever change it was that needed to be made to the constitution (and given that all the provinces have never agreed on anything, ever), I think it’s a fairly safe bet that Canada won’t become republican in a hurry.
Right now, I think the monarchy is something that is seen as a little old fashioned by most Canadians (and probably irrelevant by Quebecers and recent immigrants), but for now there’s no critical mass for change. That might change when Charles becomes king.
Stella says
What I seek is that those 20% who don’t support monarchy could choose what their tax money is spend on.
Why don’t they use The Crown Estate (that they’ve amassed throughout centuries by sucking the plebs’ blood) to pay their bills and the servants’ wages? They didn’t even pay taxes until quite recently.
Stella says
Have you been to Afghanistan? Wake up! Patriotism is a manipulation tool to brainwash cannon fodder into happily dying for the interests of the ruling elite. Members of royal families and ruling classes in general don
Stella says
What I seek is that those 20% who don’t support monarchy could choose what their tax money is spend on.
Why don’t they use The Crown Estate (that they’ve amassed throughout centuries by sucking the plebs’ blood) to pay their bills and the servants
Neil Welton says
Government would not be able to function if individuals started to choose how their taxes were spent. A nightmare to organise and very expensive to administer! Money better spent on the projects you support. Also, once you accept this principle – it has consequences. For example, what happens, if people without children demand education not be funded with their taxes. As for your points – yes, The Royals’ pay tax and they spend Crown Estate money to pay their bills. So, by your own yardstick, you should be happy. :-)
Neil Welton says
I’ve not been to Afghanistan but many young people of about my age (and also younger) have died and be sacrificed there. Sacrificed in this war started by a president. A president, many believe, was motivated just by oil and money.
The problem I have with you definition of patriotism is that it is far too dry and academic, rather than emotional and actually experienced. For you quote from a textbook. Rather than share any experience of patriotism or love of country that you have actually had. Patriotism also means “love of country”, so you do appear to be confused in your literal definitions too. Just check any dictionary.
I just feel you should “think” a little bit less and learn to “love” a little bit more.
As a former soldier, I’m quite appalled that you look upon me and also serving soldiers as nothing more than useful “brainwashed cannon fodder”. That we have all been manipulated into dying for the interests of the ruling elite and therefore we are unable to think for ourselves. Despite our countries coming under attack on September 11th 2001 and July 7th 2005. You again appear to be confused. Confusing patriotism in a military context and civil context. For it is well known in the military, that patriotism is a useful tool in bringing soldiers to the “threshold of sacrifice”. That emotional place where irrationality takes over – and enables a person to quite happily give up his life, this one chance of life that his parents gave to them – for the defence of the nation and also you.
I will happily concede that, as a boy, the initial realisation I had a “real” Queen and Prince did seem quite magical to me. Just like a fairytale had come true. I found it all puzzling. Very mysterious. Enchanting and fascinating in a way that, thirty years later, I still can’t adequately explain or express. But this also don’t explain why, on growing up, I am still a monarchist. Nor does it explain adult reactions to Monarchy. I mean, it is daft to suggest that the 80% of people in Britain who support Monarchy live in cloud cuckoo land. For it ain’t “the tinsel of the ceremonials” that makes The Monarchy, it is the individuals themselves. There’s something about Royalty. Ask anyone who has met them. There is this magical experience. Something words cannot adequately explain or describe.
hoohaahee says
Neil welton said:
“Opinion polls show 80% of the British people support Monarchy” I can GUARANTEE you, that this opinion poll did not, and has never, reflected the majority view in Scotland.
As Stella rightly pointed out, the “British” monarchy has got where it is today through the literal oppression of generations of people both in “Great England” (sorry, I meant “Great Britain”) and it’s other constituent Countries.
The economics of the Monarchy are but one part of this debate. The real question, in my opinion, is: why do people in a modern democracy argue over the “merits” of Hereditary rule? Whether or not the Royal family bring a fortune into Britain is irrelevant. They are BORN into a position of immense power and privilege in society. This cannot be argued to be democratic.
neil welton also said:
“it ain
Stella says
Nope, they don
Cookie Monster says
I’m not sure if I entirely buy the arguement about tourism. During a free weekend whilst on a business trip, Mrs. Monster and I did quite a bit of sightseeing in London. Tower Bridge, the Tower, a big church, etc. We really liked walking along the Thames and generally enjoying an unusually warm weekend (I recall the London marathon was that weekend) in one of the greatest cities of the world. Had the royals been extinct, it would not have detracted from our enjoyment one bit. London is an amazing city with quite a bit of rich history. There are tons of things to keep tourists coming, other than the weather, cusine, and ongoing zany adventures of Liz, Chuck, Bill and Harry.
As for the going-to-war business, I expect that Wills is bored out of his mind. A nice safari is sure to add a little excitement. Shooting at folks always perks me up.