We had a very close call today. Matthew Laidlow nearly died after crying into his oatmeal so long he actually started to inhale the stuff. It was a slow process really, he knew what the end result would be, and yet he refused to lift his face out of the bowl.

It’s because he misses Stu so bad. We all do. Luckily Davies scooped out Laidlow’s lungs with a really long-handeled spoon, and all is well until the next time somebody gives that guy a breakfast.

Little does he know he doesn’t have to be in such despair any longer – nobody does! That’s because Stu has sent us word! In a postcard! He’s thinking of us! He writes:

Dear readers and Matthew Laidlow,

I’m having a wonderful time here in south France, where I met a hairy pig while speed-dating last night and the two of us went bow hunting. I really think this could be it!

Yours in editing,

Stu

Good for you Stu, no more lonely nights! Also no more worrying about never getting fanged by a girlfriend. Now isn’t that nice? Congratulations!