We'll be blowed – Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End has managed to retain top footing at the weekend box office in the face of mighty competition from a comedy starring nobody famous about how hilarious unwanted pregnancies are.
Somehow, against all odds, Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End is number one at the US weekend box office for a second week despite going head-to-head with Knocked Up, the film many people are calling the year's funniest movie. That's right, people actually prefer seeing a handful of preposterously attractive people dressed up as old-time sea-goers fighting expensive battles with elaborate monsters to watching a fat curly-haired man recoil in terror at the graphic sight of a baby's head emerging from inside a woman's reproductive system. We don't know about you, but we'd like to see that written as a weekend box office rule of some sort.
So Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End – or Pirates: Of: The: Caribbean: At: World's: End as hardly anyone is calling it – is the top film at the weekend box office, proving that films about pirates where all sorts of convoluted shit that nobody is actually able to properly explain to you after 20 minutes of watching it is weekend box office gold. It's unknown whether or not Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End will stay as the number one weekend box office movie for as long as Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest did, but we hope not – purely for the reason that we used up all our pirate jokes a year ago and never really got round to thinking any more up. Here's this week's US weekend box office top five…
1 – Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End (World's End is basically a slightly larger version of Land's End, although it's nicer, easier to reach by car and less full of dull wankers carping on about King Arthur) $43,188,00
2 – Knocked Up (We're glad that Knocked Up never made it to the weekend box office number one spot, because we all know that's reserved solely for creatively bankrupt third sequels that genuinely couldn't have been any worse if they were written by illiterate racists with a fondness for writing elaborate scenes of graphic coprophilia) $29,248,000
3 – Shrek The Third (OK, the Shrek The Third buzz is over with now, so heads down for the Shrek The Fourth buzz, where standards drop so much that everyone who sees it actually stabs themselves in the throat rather than make it to the hilarious medley before the end credits) $26,704,000
4 – Mr Brooks (Kevin Costner, Demi Moore and William Hurt in a movie together? That's box office dynamite! Oh no, wait, it isn't the early 1990s. Scrap the dynamite bit) $10,020,000
5 – Spider-Man 3 (Thank goodness that last week was a holiday, otherwise the fifth-place spot would have been Waitress and we'd have been forced to come up with a pithy one-liner about a bittersweet comedy by a woman who was murdered shortly after the film's completion. Whew.) $7,500,000
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