The organisers of Hard Rock Calling, that sort of festival like thing that happens in Hyde Park every summer that isn't the O2 Wireless festival, have decided that former Fall Out Boy bassist and pioneer of the musical equivalent of object d?, Pete Wentz, is a suitable choice for a battle of the bands judge.
Right? RIGHT?
If you're lucky enough to have forgotten the mid noughties, here?s a crash course in all things Pete Wentz:
- He was in an emo band called Fall Out Boy who got big on the back of the success of auditory assassins My Chemical Romance.
- He had/has a stupid fringe and a fondness for guyliner.
- He was once caught doing an Ashley Cole after a fan posted a picture of his tattooed tallywhacker on the internet and?
- He's married to Ashlee Simpson, a woman so pathetic she continues to live in the shadow of America's answer to Kerry Katona, her older sister Jessica Simpson.
That's right, at one point in time, Pete Wentz was related by marriage to Nick Lachey.
ROCKNFUGGINROLL!
The heats Wentz will be judging are taking place in Hard Rock Cafes all over the world, because being alternative and sticking it to the man is like totally all about being a shameless corporate whore nowadays, duh!
The budding bands that Wentz will cast his three eyes over are battling it out to see who gets to take to the stage in Hyde Park, in front of literally some people, and belt out their best Aerosmith covers as bottles of piss whip past their heads and rain pours down on them from the cold, grey London skies.
We here at hecklerspray aren't really ones for nurturing talent, we prefer to call people names and giggle amongst ourselves, but even so we can't honestly see what would make anyone desperate enough to have Pete Wentz, a man so incredibly annoying and pointless that even Bono thinks it's a bit much, judge their musical ability. Unless they're still about 12 years old and think that Wentz is OMG LIKE SO TOTALLY BUFF YEH!
Anyway, congratulations Hard Rock Calling, whatever credibility you had left after changing your name to that of an overpriced theme restaurant has just evaporated.
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nichole says
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
this article is a joke.
im sorry you can’t see the talent this guy has, so sorry.
you dont have to shit on him.
J. says
Check your facts on someone before you write pathetic and demeaning articles about them. It only makes you seem ridiculous.
kel says
you might want to make sure your “facts” are legit and/or relevant before you go off on rants, just a tip.
cass says
okay:
1. Fall Out Boy is NOT emo.
2. He couldn’t have been related to Nick Lachey because him and Jessica have broken up before Pete married Ashlee.
3. Well they couldn’t have chosen Pete because of the fact that his label, Decaydance Records, has launched some of the greatest musical artists of this generation, could they? *sarcasm*
4. This guy has more talent than you can have. His lyrics are golden. His band is successful.
please get your facts straight before posting something like this.
petewentzcansuckmyballs says
Cass, you’re an idiot.
1. Fall Out Boy are just about the most emo band to grace the world with their apathetic presence. They are one step away from literally becoming Panic! At the Disco. In fact, I struggle to tell the difference between the two.
2. Decaydance Records is a pile of wank. What “great musical artists” have they launched exactly? Because a quick google search tells me that their biggest claim to fame is, oh wait, Fall Out boy themselves. And Panic! At the Disco (surprise surprise). There is one passable group on their label and that is Four Year Strong, and they are just about acceptable.
3. Do you know Kris Silver personally? Because if the answer is no, how do you know Pete Wentz has more talent than him? His lyrics are not “golden”, they are sub-par, whiney and aimed at making 15 year old girls cream their pants, because he is just so angsty and just like them!
Now I admit, his band is successful, you got that much right. But that doesn’t make them good. There are plenty of artists out there that are successful but crap.
And also, you can’t say “Get your facts straight” when all you have used to counter Kris Silver’s argument is your own opinion, not fact.