Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson have filed for divorce because, in their own sweet way, they’re both insanely irritating and gaspingly thick. C’mon, ‘Champagne For My Real Friend, Real Pain For My Sham Friends’ is a song title so bad that the English language itself has reportedly tried to commit suicide.
Of course, the pair are citing that age-old, trusted reason of ?irreconcilable differences? as the reason for the break-up.
The world mourns the loss of this shining example of everything that is great about humankind, clearly.
A source close to Wentz told reckons:
“They have gone their separate ways for quite some time. ? Ashlee and Pete have not really been on track for the past year.”
After all that time together, the pair suddenly rose from their simpleton stupor to realise that they had absolutely nothing in common. It’s a bit like two fish realising that they have been staring at their own reflections in the fish tank.
Of course, there’s a trace of nastiness in all this, mainly because celebrities are physically unable to walk away from another human without muttering a slur under their breath.
Simpson is claiming that she couldn’t deal with Wentz ?erratic? behaviour.
One chum of Wentz’s notes:
“Pete is a helluva lot smarter than Ashlee. After a while I think she realized she just couldn't keep up with him in a lot of areas.”
Notably, the competition of who can put their eyeliner on the neatest. Sadly for us muck-rakers, there doesn’t seem to be the merest hint of an affair around this depressingly boring debacle.
The worst element of this whole thing is that Wentz is invariably going to pour his heart out about all this in a series of beige stadium rock turds, which he’ll hope makes him look all clever and sensitive. Naturally, Fall Out Boy fans will lap it up like thirsty hounds.
The rest of us meanwhile will have to begin the laborious process of slicing our ears off and filling the holes with liquid concrete.
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Please says
If this subject is so below you, if the people involved are such wastes. Why would you waste your precious time writing about it? There’s a little boy involved and two parents that have seemingly kept from turning his little life into a circus, that says something I think. It says more than some angry hater living their life only to spread their hate.