Jewellery looks good against human skin doesn’t it? Unless of course, your complexion is similar to freshly opened feta cheese. With ringworm.
Yep, Pete Doherty, who has 5000 GCSEs, is a man who could make the loveliest item of jewellery look like smack-head’s tinfoil down a grid.
But that isn’t stopping the Libertines dingus from launching a luxury jewellery collection alongside former Cartier designer Hannah Martin, who you may remember as being really annoying in Neighbours some years ago.
Apparently, Doherty developed his “obsession” with antiques and trinkets into a 15-piece line of rings, chains, cufflinks and pins as part of a collaboration with former Cartier designer Hannah Martin.
We eagerly await his launch of diamond encrusted crack-pipes.
The range has the toe-curling monicker of Albion Trinketry and was inspired by the musician’s…
“longing to re-introduce the days when every man had a piece of jewellery to wear with his Sunday best”
When was that then? An imagined halcyon days of people being able to afford luxurious items for the weekend? When was this? Who was this? Never mind.
The jewels will be launched within Joseph stores in London and Paris later in the month, should you be idiotic enough to want to buy them. That said, this surge in wealth that could potential come about through sales of these items could well see Doherty hitting the smack again, which gives us ammo and things to write about.
We’ve changed our minds. Go and buy this stuff please. Buy it all. ALL!
A spokesperson for the collection said:
“Hannah’s interpretation of Peter’s ideas and her bespoke approach to design has ensure a collection that is both original and timeless. Each piece has a sense of regency and history yet also modernity reflecting the past whilst also giving a nod to the future.”
“Peter and Hannah’s designs encapsulate modern luxury. Their aim during the design process was to create collectables that will last the test of time and be handed down through the generations.”
You see? You see the kind of bullshit that people write about stuff? That’s what our inbox looks like every stinkin’ morning.
We’ve had to hire a translator to wade through the endless bollocks that gets sent to us. After reading that, our translator Terry said:
“Basically, it appears they’ve made a load of boring jewellery that is probably going to be collectable because some poxy celebrity tacked his name to it so he can buy more expensive crack or whatever it is he does with his money.”
Next week: Some proper news.
Arthur ASCii says
It was Debbie Martin that was the annoying one; Hannah Martin was the fit one.