Sarah Palin’s bloodlust continues to stir up opinions – all of them useless – around the planet. But mostly America. When her new party political broadcast… sorry, sorry, when her new reality show aired – Sarah Palin’s Alaska -? everyone took it in turns to either fawn or kick her in the seat of her pants.
Whether it was any good or not, it’s quite startling to watch a former vice presidential candidate wielding a gun, firing it and killing something. More often than not, US politicians are out kissing babies or trying to explain themselves after being caught with their pants down.
Well, Palin shot a caribou and it was only a matter of time before PETA cleared their throats and, in an adenoidal voice, said ‘Excuse me, I think you’ll find we have an opinion on all this actually.’ From the smoking barrel of a moron to the self proclaimed voice of the woodland, could this spat get more irritating if it tried?
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) vice president Dan Mathews released a statement sharing his thoughts. Probably wiping up the tears of a jaded moth while he did it, with a handkerchief made from hemp that willingly offered itself to be pulped and woven.
“Sarah seems to think that resorting to violence and blood and guts may lure people into watching her boring show. But the ratings remain as dead as the poor animals she shoots”
Poor ol’ PETA. They haven’t got a clue when it comes to trolling people have they? Really, they should have released a statement that threatened to throw her naked in a forest while wolves with bugles chased after her for shits and giggles. Instead, Palin got a finger wagging. In her dreams, she probably shoots off the digits of naysayers hands.
Palin had something to say about this telling-off.
“Unless you’ve never worn leather shoes, sat upon a leather couch or eaten a piece of meat, save your condemnation of tonight’s episode. I remain proudly intolerant of anti-hunting hypocrisy.”
Sadly for Palin, there are people who don’t wear leather, eat meat or own a leather couch and do everything within their power to lead a life that doesn’t include suffering animals (apart from episodes of Itchy and Scratchy)… and chances are, those are the people shrieking in disagreement with her, thereby making her rebuttal kinda pointless.
But what about the caribou community?
We spoke to electronic noodle group, Caribou and asked them for their opinions:
“Hecklerwhat? Are you going to promote our last album? Well then. Go away.”
What have we learned from all this? Well, we already knew Sarah Palin was a bit mental and that PETA were mewing chumps. You already knew that hecklerspray was written by sneering reprobates, leaving us back where we started – nowhere.
At least we can all carry on hating each other with the prospect of something far more terrifying – next week, Palin’s show sees Kate Gosselin and her eight kids accompanying Palin on a camping trip.
Will it end in a midnight bear attack?
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!
Allied Carpets Sale says
What’s the difference between Sarah Palin’s mouth and Sarah Palin’s vagina?
Only some of the things that come out of her vagina are retarded.
Wholesale wigs says
I noticed Bristol’s weight gain during the show too. Hilarious that KG has the balls to discuss in public what people where talking about privately all over the country, even though it is a subject we are not supposed to laugh about. BTW, KG loves getting negative comments from right wingers. You are just making Kathy happy with your ranting, so wack on wackadoos.
larry says
Check out this stupid video PETA made: http://meat.org
Tom J says
You are my new favourite person in the whole world.