We at hecklerspray are in absolutely no danger of becoming famous. Collectively, we’re all so impressively hideous that we could age a pear just by looking at it. However, that’s not stopped moon-headed Perez Hilton making the leap from internet snark to pointless sleb.
Of course, he starred in Rihanna’s S&M video and, now, he’s going to feature in a film about Michael Jackson.
Yesireebob, ol’ Perez will be forgetting all about those fat, salty tears he shared when he claimed one of the Black Eyed Peas camp lamped him one, and thesping it up for a cameo in a new film inspired by Michael Jackson’s death.
The blogger will play himself (but first, he must find himself, no doubt) in French director Christophe Lenoir’s thriller A * Is Killed.
In what sounds like something we’ve made up, the movie stars Indian director and actor Himesh Reshammiya as a musician called Siddharth Patel who is fascinated by a singer killed under suspicious circumstances.
Says Perez, with his grating voice:
“In the world of the movie, I had a friendship with the character who passes away”
“It’s pretty cool, and something I’ve always wanted to do.”
For someone who writes for a living, he’s spectacularly lacking in insight and is about as engaging as a broken hat stand. What do you mean we’re jealous?
Of course we’re jealous.
We’re off to send nasty emails to Perez Stupid Hilton and generally snipe at everyone in the world until someone puts us in a film. We might just have to start actually breaking the stories we’ve got on all these famous folk.
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Ian says
Oh good, the man who, upon hearing of Jackson being rushed to the hospital, accused the star of faking a heart attack to get out of having to tour, now gets his ugly Walrus face in a movie about him. Charming.
Cookie Monster says
“one of the Black Eyed Peas camp lamped him one”
I don’t know what it is about this lamping thing that has got all “up in my grill”, as they say but I probably shouldn’t, but it has to stop. Not the act; I could not possibly care less about the doorknobs that make energetic contact with the face of this stain* called “Perez”. What I find grating is the term, “lamping”.
I have started a petition on http://stopmofslamping.org ** in support of the cause. For information, visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamping *** ****
* I apologize for my reckless, indirect insult to stains
** Not a link to a real site
*** Not a link to relevant information
**** Those are three asterisks, not stars, so stop saying “star star star” as you read aloud