Penniless Waitress Receives Best Chat-Up Line EVER From Cristiano Ronaldo

by Mof Gimmers on July 19, 2010 4 Comments

Cristiano Ronaldo is a nice bloke isn’t he? He can do six-hundred step-overs, give a cheeky wink, impregnate a penniless woman and then come up with the astonishing name of Cristiano Ronaldo for it (regardless of whether it was going to be a boy or a girl) without breaking sweat. What a guy!

What’s all this about penniless? Yep. C-Ron (pronounced ‘ARGH!’) has thrown a lifeline to a good, honest, poverty-stricken girl and not, as most are implying, used his incredible wealth and footballishness to convince a woman to slide between his sheets. And you want to hear his chat-up line that he wooed her with!This penniless waitress (who may or may not have been working in a cocktail bar when they met) is now a 25-year old who is $10m more wealthy. Cristiano clearly wants this lady to have the best healthcare, whilst allowing his eventual offspring to have the best start in life.

Or, he’s bought her silence. Can’t actually remember which one it was now, sorry.

One person close to Ronaldo who clearly hasn’t been given $10m to keep their mouth from opening and closing has blabbed on to the Sunday Mirror and said that, when the hideous athlete pulled the girl in the States, he said:

“Ronni looked the girl in the eye and said extremely directly, ‘Me, you, fuck-fuck.’ That’s typical Ronni – he pretends his English is terrible when it suits him, and he comes straight to the point. It was just yet another one-night stand and Ronnie assumed he would never see her again.”

So off they went, knocking their uglies together until eventually, the unholy union did enough to eventually make a baby grow up the socket, leaving the poor woman to go through the irritating admin of tracking down Ronaldo through his agent and arranging some DNA tests.

The friend continued:

“They are a traditional Roman Catholic family and the minute paternity was established there was absolutely no doubt that Ronni would be doing the right thing.”

Ronaldo apparently told a chum that this had left him feeling like “Boris Becker”, who of course, had impressively brief sex with model Angela Ermakova. Make up your own jokes about dribbling and deuce and all that.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

sam July 19, 2010 at 12:50 pm

Wow…..nd hes still dating irina if i was irina i would have dumped him!

Reply

cindy July 22, 2010 at 10:46 am

Lucky girl! i know plenty of girls that wouldn’t mind having 1 night of fun with Cristiano, myself included. And u can knock it if u like but thats like saying what guy would want to have a 1 night stand with Megan Fox. The only thing I would have done different, poor or not, I would have kept my baby even if he offered me $50mil. And by the way it takes two people to make a baby. no one forced this “poor girl” into bed with him. He just did wat plenty of young men his age do everynight in all parts of the world. Perhaps some people are just looking for an excuse to bash on him, and maybe those people should stick to reporting the facts and keep their hatred to themselves.

Reply

Keith July 26, 2010 at 11:48 am

Plenty of young men his age do have one-night stands all over the world, it doesn’t mean they’re respected. Anyway, he’s a twat, so yes, any excuse to bash him.

Reply

musas January 17, 2011 at 5:35 pm

i like u so much ur best player in the world 2day

Reply

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