The number one movie at the weekend box office contains terrifying footage of a freakish undead figure.
No, not This Is It. That comes out on Wednesday. We’re talking about Paranormal Activity – the film that was made for $11,000, is widely referred to as ‘the scariest film ever made’ and has gradually been climbing the weekend box office chart as word of mouth about it grew.
Best of all, Paranormal Activity has beaten the latest Saw movie at the weekend box office, too. So here’s hoping that a new, incrementally rubbisher, Paranormal Activity movie gets released every year to help us forget how good the first one was, too! Hooray!
SPOILER ALERT: Paranormal Activity probably isn’t the scariest film ever made. But it’s probably one of the best-marketed, which is why it’s number one at the weekend box office. There have been internet campaigns to get Paranormal Activity a wide release, rumours that Steven Spielberg thought his copy was haunted, leaked internet videos of audiences screaming for their lives, breathless blog reviews, all adding up to make a quite unexpected torrent of hype.
And, admit it, if you haven’t seen Paranormal Activity, you want to. No? The lead actress has got quite big boobs. Oh, now you want to go and see it. You people are disgusting. Here’s the US weekend box office top five…
1 – Paranormal Activity (Speaking of which, what’s the inevitable porno remake of Paranormal Activity going to be called? So far, we’ve only got ParaWHOREmal Activity, Paranormal SPANKtivity and PARROT-ANAL SCAT-GIVE-IT-TO-ME. Do help out if you can) $22,000,000
2 – Saw VI (Whereby Jigsaw, realising that he’s literally run out of inventive ways to kill people, just listlessly slaps a man on the forehead with one of his shoes for 90 minutes) $14,800,000
3 – Where The Wild Things Are (SPOILER ALERT! The wild things are either in the boy’s imagination or on an island or something) $14,400,000
4 – Law Abiding Citizen (A bit like Saw, really, except it’s got Gerard Butler and Jamie Foxx in it, so we’re even less likely to watch it) $12,7000,000
5 – Couples Retreat (OK, we’re sorry for whatever it is we’ve done. Just stop this being in the weekend box office. Please) $11,100,000