Oprah Winfrey has been shooting her mouth off saying that she’s going to get OJ Simpson to confess to his dirty murder on her television show, but alas, someone has already beaten her to it.
That source is the Daily Mail. And the National Enquirer. They never tell lies do they? They would’ve been told-off by someone official if so. This means we can take their words and reprint them as gospel.
So yeah, the words ‘I killed Nicole’ have been uttered by OJ ‘Glove Problems’ Simpson, which is nice. Is someone going to arrest him again… or something? We don’t know the protocol and can’t be bothered to find out. Simpson hasn’t just confessed, he’s allegedly spoken about how he did it. Step right this way gore fans!
According to the Mail, Simpson has already told Oprah that he knifed his wife to death in self defence. Of course, Oprah isn’t saying not saying a peep as she’d prefer to talk about it when she’s got some ratings at stake.
Of course, Simpson is already in prison, serving a nine year sentence for a robbery and kidnapping, but he was famously acquitted of murdering his wife and her chum Ronald Goldman even though it totally looked like he’d done it.
So step forward the National Enquirer, purveyors of undiluted truth and wisdom! They say that the former pro-ball chucker has been in contact with Oprah for the past year, ‘fessing all, saying:
?Tell Oprah that yes, I did it. I killed Nicole, but it was in self-defence. She pulled a knife on me and I had to defend myself?
?OJ said he went home and kept getting angrier and angrier and worked himself into an absolute rage?
Apparently, Simpson said that he…
?didn’t like the way she treated me in front of the kids at the restaurant. I didn’t like that she was routinely having guys have sex with her at her condo with the kids there.
He then obviously definitely said:
?I went over there to give her a piece of my mind. She was yelling go away! Go away! And waving the knife around at me. At one point she was lunging at me with the knife and I was just trying to talk to her. Nicole stepped out of the apartment – slashing the knife in the air?
?I was in such a rage that something just snapped. I couldn’t take her constant taunting of me with other men or her using drugs and drinking while my kids were living with her. I went beserk.
‘?Before I knew what I was doing I took the knife away from Nicole and started slashing at her. I cut her over and over again until she was lifeless. I was shocked at my own anger ? I had killed the woman I had loved for so long…?
Then then presumably knifed Ron Goldman in self-defence and would’ve stabbed the crap out of anyone else within a mile radius, in self-defence before going on the world’s most famous, and slow copchase ever.
So there you have it. Close the casebooks. Everything has been worked out by Oprah, a right wing British newspaper and a comic.
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dog wover says
Free O.J. and his Bruno Mali shoes!
brotherap says
Amerikkka has become a weird nation fully possessed by this OJ Simpson madness compared to nothing else before or since in the history of this nation. They need to ask themselves why? What will the say if evidence finally is allowed to be revealed showing OJ could not have committed the murders because he was 30,000 feet in the air at the same time his wife was alive.