So, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s daughter, North, turned 1 last week and, at first, it seemed like they weren’t going to do anything ridiculous and over the top, as North’s birthday fell on Father’s Day. However, this past weekend these two glory whores who like barfing out money on stupid shit like it ain’t no thang took over the top to a whole new level.
In true ridiculous fashion, Kim and Kanye threw baby North a “Kidchella” themed 1st birthday party in sister, Kourtney’s, backyard. Basically, it was Coachella for kids. Yeah, because nothing says “wholesome first birthday” like a party based on a drug fuelled hipster festival.
North’s first birthday had a ferris wheel, a big stage where people could do karaoke of popular Pop songs, face painting, tents, and basically a bunch of other Coachella themed shit (candy cigarettes instead of joints, little candy that looks like ecstasy, you know, the norm for a kids birthday party).
Just like at Coachella, there was a bunch of rich white folk dressed as Indians, which, of course, pissed a lot of people off.
I spent some time looking through the Kardashian’s Instagram accounts (please stop judging me), and as far as I can tell there was nothing 1st birthday about this party. Hoes dressed up as Indians, babies were given “Yeezus” t-shirts, Kendall and Kylie sang karaoke, and, frankly, I’m starting to wonder if North was even at this shit.
You know what? It wouldn’t even fucking matter if North was there because who even remembers or gives a shit about their first birthday party? The pictures from my first birthday didn’t even turn out because we had to use a ghetto film camera and you know who cares? No one.
Birthday parties don’t start meaning anything to you until you’re at least 3, so, let’s real talk for a second, this party was not for North, because she couldn’t give less of a shit that there was a ferris wheel she can’t even ride at her party. This party was for Kim and Kanye so they could show how fucking rich and over the top and extravagant they fucking are.
I just can’t with these two assholes. And, with that, I have to make some popcorn before “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” comes on.