Noel Gallagher Pokes His Big Poking Stick at Jack White
Then buzz it up
December 8th, 2005 at 15:00 by Chris Laverty
It’s nearly Christmas and Noel Gallagher is full of his usual festive cheer. This week’s target for Old Grumpy is White Stripes frontman Jack White.
Grunted Noel:
"Jack White has just done a song for Coca-Cola. End of. He ceases to be in the club."
What club? What the hell is Noel raving about? He’s in a band, not the fucking Masons.
Monobrowed has-been Noel Gallagher continued his Christmassy Jack White rant:
"If I needed the money I’d be doing it, but he’s supposed to stand for something else, isn’t he? He’s supposed to be the poster boy for the alternative way of thinking. Coca-Cola man, fucking hell!"
Like us, you might be asking yourself why the sullen faced Oasis (CDs) singer gives a toodle-do what Jack White does on his Sundays off.
Our investigative tampering leads us to believe that Jack is actually Noel’s great Uncle Varney (ageing well) – as such he can’t stand the family bloodline being brought into dispute.
Don’t trust us our judgement though, we don’t even spell hecklerspray with a capital H.
Read More:
Noel: Jack Has Sold Out – Sun Online
[story by Chris Laverty]
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December 8th, 2005 at 6:37 pm
noel is jealous they didn;t ask him .he no they pay jack good money like beyonce. they give her 5 millions .jack business is not is business so he need to take care is own business. jack is american not english
December 8th, 2005 at 6:49 pm
Interesting that the Gallaghers endorse Toshiba phones. They get a fat check from them…. Either he’s a hypocrite or he’s trying to get back into the headlines…
December 8th, 2005 at 7:25 pm
noel is the man…tells it like it is, a real working class hero, besides i dont recall toshiba commiting human rights abuses in latian america like a certian soft drinks company
December 8th, 2005 at 9:55 pm
My god, this made me laugh out loud.
Jack is a longtime Coca-Cola fanatic; it’s like being asked to endorse your favorite (insert product here) by using your talent. That’s not quite selling out.
And if we want to swing e-peens and talk about companies and their bad decisions, Toshiba single-handedly caused what could have been a major breakdown in Japan-US relations and had sanctions imposed upon their corporation by both countries for a time for their illegal activities in selling certain sensitive tech in violation of international laws in 1987.
No one is innocent. Every major corporation has some dirt somewhere. That’s hardly an argument against or in favor of the matter at hand. Gallagher just has his panties in a knotty little twist because he likes to whine and Jack White was a convenient target.
December 9th, 2005 at 9:55 am
Gonad faced Gallagher is as much a working class hero as he is a creative and original songwriter i.e. he’s not. Interesting to learn from other commments that Coca-Cola appear to be responsible for imprisonment without trial, extracting confessions under torture and arbitrary executions. Come on, they’re hardly the North Koreans!
December 9th, 2005 at 1:58 pm
i hope jack dont go to england to fight that men he need to focused on his baby not some english men ou need american attention coke is american so is jack .he dont understand american thing
December 9th, 2005 at 3:17 pm
some one told me jack white dont even own a computer he dont no what is going on the net. also his friend and family not allow to tell him nothing they hurd .there is a lot a talk about him he dont even no
December 9th, 2005 at 8:14 pm
..and in other news. ‘michelle’, ‘karen’ and ‘lisa’ all seem to be the same person if their grammer is anything to go by. or should that be lack of grammer.
i choose not to care about anything noel gallagher says anyway.
December 9th, 2005 at 8:29 pm
noel think if they give beyonce 5 million for her to drink it.they probably give jack at lease 10 million is mad its all about the money.did he offer him the money so he dont have to do it i think not.are many people ou will turn down 10 million no body
December 10th, 2005 at 1:22 am
hahahahahahaha i dont care either no lisa is number one whore dont confuse me with other girl ok
December 10th, 2005 at 2:55 pm
Talking about hasbeens. It’s over Noel. You haven’t made a good album in 10 years. Pathetic.
December 10th, 2005 at 4:09 pm
Sold out - that’s a bit rich comming from him! I’m amazed that Gallagher is able to say anything -given that he he’s usually sucking off Tony Blair. Has everyone forgotten how the Kippax boy crawled into Downing St 8ys ago? I haven’t.
December 10th, 2005 at 4:16 pm
My gOD!
sToP CriTiCizE nOEL!
hE’s The GreATeST mEN eVEr!
anD THE Is iN THE BeST BanD EveR!
LEavE HIM alOnE…if hE Said ThAt…OK!…He SaiD iT..ENd Of ThE COnVERSaTIoN!
oAsiS rUIEs…(L)lIam i lUv Ya(L)
December 11th, 2005 at 9:01 pm
I feel utterly alone, yet I am sad forgive me for my callous comments, I tried writing a song but but but I miss you pooky so much and I go crazy, oh by the way WALK THE LINE was boring and the sun is shining in California.
December 12th, 2005 at 2:43 am
noel in love with jack he whant jack to fuck him
December 12th, 2005 at 3:37 pm
I think Noel has been watching some Bill Hicks vids:
“Do a commercial, you’re off the artistic roll call, every word you say is suspect, you’re a corporate whore..”
December 14th, 2005 at 1:25 am
noel smell jack big money
February 23rd, 2006 at 12:28 am
that jack white i fookin av him the fat kebab dicked cunt he fooking looks like a right cunt i bet he fucks chickens
March 3rd, 2006 at 1:49 am
most of you on here don’t even understand what he meant by ‘club’
i.e people like himself and weller who have’nt sold out to cunts like coca cola
wake up and read into what he’s saying!!
he’s one of the most intelligent un-educated people you could ever encounter
and he’s written some fuckin’ anthems that will be around for a long time
he is the man
July 31st, 2006 at 1:31 am
Dude if it’s Red and White jacks going to do it, and I hate stupid oasis they always slam other groups.