For years the world has thought that a Jackson Five reunion would be impossible, not least because nobody can imagine going to watch a gang of rickety old child-stars limping through Rockin' Robin fronted by a frail alabaster ghoul.
However, the world clearly doesn't have the self-belief of Jermaine Jackson, because he's decided that this exact tactic is what will make him successful again. According to Jermaine Jackson, the Jackson Five will reform and play some shows next year, with Michael Jackson firmly in place as a member of the group. But, accounting for Michael Jackson's notorious flakiness, Jermaine Jackson has drafted in a few Jackson Five understudies as a contingency should Michael Jackson pull out. And who wouldn't want to see a reunited Jackson Five with Samuel L Jackson, Randy Jackson or noted long-dead American organic chemist Charles Loring Jackson singing all of Michael's parts?
Michael Jackson is the kind of guy that, if he says he'll do something, you can normally expect to wait ten years and a thousand lawsuits before he eventually squeaks out something that's completely unrelated to anything he's ever mentioned. For instance, Michael Jackson's 9/11 charity single never emerged, nor did his Hurricane Katrina charity single. Or his 50 Cent collaboration. Or that album of duets with the dead Pope. Or the album he was supposed to be recording in Bahrain.
And now it seems like Michael Jackson is ready to reunite and go on tour with the Jackson Five again, which to all intents and purposes means that in the year 2035, Jackie Jackson, Jermaine Jackson, Tito Jackson and Marlon Jackson will perform a solitary 90-second song in front of some blank-faced porcelain dolls in a shed alongside a wounded crow in an afro that they all doggedly refer to as 'Michael'.
Or maybe not, because Jermaine Jackson – aka the man who came second on Celebrity Big Brother, making him more famous than the mannish one from S Club 7 and less famous than Shilpa Shetty – is adamant that the Jackson Five will be touring next year, and that Michael Jackson will definitely be in the fold. You know, just like he was during Celebrity Big Brother and – we suspect – every single morning since the Jackson Five officially disbanded 17 years ago.
Anyway, here's what Jermaine Jackson told BBC 6 Music:
"Michael will be involved. We feel we have to do it one more time. We owe that to the fans and to the public… There's been so much going on, getting over all the hurdles that we all were faced with during Michael's trial. But we are stronger than ever. I'm gonna say thank you, thank you, thank you so much to all the fans and the supporters of my family all over Europe, all over the UK especially, who came out to show their love and their support… He was at the meetings. Michael will be involved."
Not only that but Jermaine Jackson also claimed that a new Jackson Five album is in the works which, given Jermaine's tendency to assert himself as the lead singer of the band whenever possible even though he's spent the last 30 years primarily known as Michael Jackson's brother, probably means that he's recording some songs that he might let Michael hum in the background of if he's good.
Of course, that's just speculation – and not particularly good speculation either. Far more likely is the scenario that a Jackson Five reunion is never going to happen, Michael Jackson is never going to take part in it and Jermaine Jackson is either woefully misguided or talking out of his botty.
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Zit says
OMG not another damn comeback !!!..Kylie, Take Tha,t Boyzone, Spice Girls etc etc..all drek
Why do they not get a damn hobby, like gardening or knitting.?
triple h babe says
i just cnt belive it cnt wait til they du tour nxt yr i wil b definently nd no 1 can stop me every 1 who nos me nos that they r just the best nd no 1 can beat them not even micheal on his own cuz his the king of pop, so elvis can get out the way 2 mak room 4 the new king of pop. ( i luvv u micheal no 1 can tak that away frm me ur special every1 nos that it doesnt mata who old u r ur the greatest luv u lotz) xxxxxxx
Holless Slave says
I am speakin on behalf on many mj fans in britain. Many of us are absolutely thrilled to hear about the comeback tour and would definately love to go and support the Jackson5. Throughout the year, Michael Jackson has had a lot of bad publicity, and is nowadays famous for the wrong reasons. Back in the 1970’s him and his family were known for their love and passion of music and their fantasitc song writing. Michael is the true King of Pop and should be known for his amazing raw talent, and not his problems which have been exaggerated above proportion.
CANT WAIT TIL THE TOUR.
WE LOVE YOU MJ xxx