How did people entertain themselves in the days before electricity was invented? Imagine life a trillion billion years ago when there was nothing on the planet apart from your fellow human and stupid animals. People actually had to use their brains to amuse themselves, urgh.
Caveman drawings have given a small glimpse into what our ancestors got up to, but there's one activity that is as popular as it ever was, and it involves the humble nipple.
From self exploration of your own, to nipple twisting someone else?s to cause them pain, its fun for everyone involved. You?d assume that everybody would embrace their bodies and not become overly offended by something they already have. Think again morons, because over in America, the sight of a nipple causes a blazing uproar and during a recent performance for Good Morning America, Nicki Minaj offended everyone. And probably Jebus.
Why is America is so anti nipple, yet doesn’t have a problem with giving away firearms with every tenth purchase in burger joint? Unless Americans have a genetic modification that allows them to fire lasers from their chests and don't want the world to know about it, then hiding your nips ain’t on.
But it got us thinking – are people just sexist about nipples when it comes to men and women? On the front of beefcake magazines such as Men?s Health, vain and muscular types flex their buff bodies whilst bongo magazines featuring topless housewives are confined to the top shelves which are impossible for us to reach.
But sex indeed sell and women are generally easier on the eye than men. And the very pleasing Nicki Minaj combines the ability of being a decent rapper (listen to her show stealing section in Kanye’s ‘Monster’) and the whole Being A Little Crazy when it comes to outfits which may reveal a little bit too much for some.
It’s because of these sexy outfits that America has requested a system where potential wardrobe malfunctions are combated thanks to a five second broadcast delay.
We assume this is after the unsavoury incident when Janet Jackson exposed her boob during the Superbowl. Of course, parent groups in America need something to complain about on a continual basis, and this is the perfect chance. Some boring person from one such group of meddling spoilsports commented:
?For the umpteenth time in recent memory a morning news show has included inappropriate content for children and families. Instead of asking for forgiveness, they need to stop apologizing and implement the five second delay that so many Americans have been calling for.?
If Nicki Minaj had scrawled something offensive on her bare chest like ?Bomb Christianity? then maybe the people complaining would have more of an argument. But crying over a bit of nipple?
Idiots.
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DJwin says
A little nipple has an uncanny ability to brighten one’s whole day. So, I say let ’em slip!
Cookie Monster says
That is a whole lot more cherry from a much more structurally sound bit of tit than JJ managed to wink and flap with. I would be offended had I not sucked on one for sustenance and later used it to garnish my cookies. That brings to mind the brake-thought on the whole slippery slope argument. The argument goes that if they are flashed about, then what’s to stop full nudity, rabid ass-rape, etc. The simple retort is, if you, and nearly every person that you know and are related to has gladly sucked it into their mouths whilst making smiling, happy, fulfilled faces (and maybe farts and such), then it can’t be that fucking bad for kids or adults to see, can it?
I wish these morons would stop trying to climb back into the womb to try to get-over their “mommy was a bitch, and I’m dirty” issues. They do prove that a tit is a tit is a tit.
Evad says
Half the population has two.
The other half wants to stare. Exactly what’s the problem?
Brandon says
Im da half dat wants 2 stare. Nice tits ma:)