Sometimes the strangest couples last the longest. Take the case of Supreme Diva, Mariah Carey, and That Guy From That Lame Talent Show, Nick Cannon. They have managed to be married longer than about 85% of Hollywood and have had a relatively drama free relationship.
Seems that has all changed, and not only are these two separated, they are actually on their way to getting divorced. I hope MiMi’s Hello Kitty collection will be safe from the impending battle.
Way back in 2008, Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon met at the Teen Choice Awards and fell madly in love, because green shit being spilled all over you just screams “LOVE CONNECTION.” They totally had a rush job marriage, which made many deduce there was either a baby on the way in 7 months, or this was a career contract type thing. Babies didn’t come for 3 more years though, since recently the two celebrated their 6 year anniversary, it seemed all those damn nay sayers were wrong.
Except the true love wasn’t meant to be forever, and the two are now donezo. And no, it wasn’t because Mariah woke up one morning and finally realized she married that dude from Drumline. Instead, busy lives, careers, and hurt feelings are to blame. Oh, and Kim Kardashian. That bitch manages to fuck up marriages she isn’t even a part of.
Back in March, Nick Cannon was doing a radio interview with Big Boy, when he started running his mouth about some pretty personal things. Not only did he talk about Mariah without getting her written script in hand first, but he did something no one outside of Ray J should ever cop to. He admitted to fucking Kim Kardashian back when she had her original nose. He then went on Howard Stern soon after and told the world how he couldn’t get into Carey’s Hello Kitty zone until he put a ring on it. Who knew Mariah had some Jennifer Aniston class?
Well, to say Mariah was pissed would be an understatement. Maybe bragging about banging Kim K was a cool thing to do in say, 2009, but in 2014? Nuh uh, you take that shit to your grave. Mariah allegedly was so embarrassed that after she was done getting check for HPV, she began packing her shit. She put her houses in the Bahamas and Bel Air up for sale, and began the process of getting the fuck out of her marriage.
Another reason for the split is Mariah’s annoyance at Nick’s work ethic. Cannon works 24/7, doing mostly stupid shit, but a shit ton of it. Maybe Mariah is just used to dudes living on an allowance from her while working full time as her personal bitch-istant, because it’s kind of unusual to hear someone complaining about their dude being a responsible, hardworking adult. Reportedly, Nick has made over 70 million these last few years, which even compared to Mariah Carey dough is a lot, but it doesn’t matter. Carey feels neglected and is tired of it.
Many aren’t shocked by this development, though. When you are the type of couple to constantly overdo it on the public affection, it becomes pretty obvious your shit is fucked up when you suddenly are private and shit. The less good looking Heidi and Seal were big fans of extravagant vow renewals every year to prove to the world how in lurve they were, until this year. Plus, the two haven’t been seen together publicly for months. We all know these two love the limelight, so red flags have been flying everywhere.
Nick confirmed the separation, saying they have been living apart for months, but that divorce isn’t on the table yet. Suuuuuure it’s not. Why does everyone say that after they separate? After 1 comes 2, and after moving the hell out of your house and contacting lawyers comes divorce. While the mature person in me hopes they stay civil for dem babies, the gossip whore in me hopes for some juicy stories to come.