What's a really bad television series to re-boot? Would it be the one that was on at the fag-end of the Seventies that your Dad showed an unhealthy interest in and that gifted you with nothing more than unsettling memories of your parents arguing as you were hurriedly sent to bed amid accusations from your mother directed at your father of infidelity with ?that bloody telly whore?.
Yeah. That one.
So why not re-invigorate the whole sorry affair for a new generation, and release some pictures of new star Adrianne Palicki wearing a PVC costume that suggests that she is preparing to attend the world's tackiest hen night?
Here are seven reasons why the whole sorry enterprise is a colossally bad idea:
1. Basically, Wonder Woman was the worst superhero ever, and the television series was the most underwhelming thing to be broadcast ever. It made the Adam West ?Batman? series look like a Ken Loach film.
2. A super-power that consists of changing your outfit by spinning around quite quickly butters very few parsnips in this house.
3. Linda Carter was at best a MILF. At best. No matter what your Dad thought – he un-ironically enjoyed Starsky and Hutch for God?s sake – replacing her with Adrianne Palicki is no improvement. She looks like the world's least convincing ladyboy. She does.
4. Wonder Woman?s big gimmick was that she wore bullet-proof bracelets. BRACELETS. Because, when in a gun-fight situation, you want to make sure your dainty wrists will emerge unscathed.
5. A magic lasso. Really?
6. The world's most unflattering golden star-encrusted headband. And there's not much competition.
7. David E. Kelly.
Let's linger on that last one. This new show ? which is destined to make the recent Bionic Woman look like a runaway success ? is helmed by the creator of Ally chuffing McBeal. The following press statement can only chill the blood of any sane person:
?a reinvention of the iconic D.C. comic in which Wonder Woman – aka Diana Prince – is a vigilante crime fighter in L.A. but also a successful corporate executive and a modern woman trying to balance all of the elements of her extraordinary life.?
Great. So that?ll be Wonder Woman by day twatting-on about novelty coffee-based beverages, pining for some weak-ass ?lost love? and staring wide-eyed over a city landscape whilst Vonda Shepard plays in the background and by night looking like she's bought a ?novelty? costume from Argos and will be vomiting in the gutter at the taxi-rank by midnight.
Cancelled mid-way through series (not ?season?, it's our language) one is our guess.
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unless says
Unless she plans to use that rope and bracelets for some bondage play, I think I’ll pass on the series. I’m old enough, barely, to have reoccurring nightmares from the original series, which wasn’t so wonderful then, and judging from the face on the paint body on this one…..naaaa I’ll pass the time watching a cat take a dump instead. Bound to be more entertaining.
Napoleon says
I vaguely remember wondering why blokes had such a thing for Linda Carter when she looked like she was wearing a blue incontinence nappy.
On an unrelated topic, I was forced to watch a Carpenters video on YouTube yesterday, and remarked to the missus that Karen Carpenter looked like a monkey in a wig sticking out of the top of a dress made from bed sheets. Apparently this was disrespectful of me because Karen kicked the bucket from anorexia back in the early ’80s – as if her looking like a monkey and dying were in any way related.
I’ll never get women, Mr. Spray.
rwgun says
I don’t think I have ever heard a diatribe that sounded more like the frustrated whining of a unsuccessful teenage dweeb. Get over your frustration with (missing out on) the opposite sex and give it a rest. You’re just embarrassing the rest of us men.
joemomma says
@rwgun
Is your keyboard sticky after looking at that picture?
Wish U Knew says
how wrong you guys are and will be…watch the show first and then make your judgement ok?
twats…sorry I meant incompetent twats…
joemomma says
Hey fanboy, did you write into DC crying about the costume change?
It sounds like it’s gonna blow.
meuswe says
Dude relax, you must be a 90’s child. Linda Carter is far from a lady boy. Specially in her prime. She is 50 something now and she is still extremely hot! This actress is hot too, but unfortunately leagues away from Carter. Who knows what the show is gonna be like, I hope it’s good since I would hate to see Wonder Woman be put to shame because of a re-make. Oh, great costume! I hope the designer and producer figure out that the pants are way too long!!!
JoeMomma says
I just found out that this is going to be directed by the guy who did “The Event”. This is going to blow chunks so far. The Even was unwatchable, this is going to be even worse. Can’t wait to see the train wreck.