Hey! You! Don’t make jokes that you’re a Nazi! Okay? Why? Well, everyone will think you’re some Jew hating swine and, as conspiracy theorists will feverishly tell you, they rule the entire world. Just make jokes about being a sex offender instead, as that has the required ‘edge’ to make simpletons laugh.
Falling foul of the whole ‘I’m a Nazi’ joke is director Lars von Trier who is now persona non grata at the Cannes Film Festival.
See, while at a press conference promoting his new film Melancholia, Lars japed that he was a Jew and a Nazi, with stars of the flick, Kirsten Dunst and Charlotte Gainsbourg, looking on in apparent disbelief. With the latter, that’s particularly difficult to imagine bearing in mind that her father, the brilliant Serge, drunkenly said rude words on a chat show to Whitney Houston and once made a dodgy song called ‘Lemon Incest’ which featured a shirtless Charlotte who, being twelve at the time, sang ambiguous lyrics about the sex between an adult and a child.
Aaaaaaaanyway.
Von Triers said:
“I thought I was a Jew and I was happy to be a Jew, but then I found out I was actually a Nazi … And that also gave me some pleasure. What can I say? I understand Hitler ? I sympathize with him a bit.”
This didn’t go down well at all. This left him shuffling awkwardly and wondering why he bothers talking to such humourless tits (in fairness to the humourless tits, the joke in the first place wasn’t that funny, but we digress), and stating:
“If I have hurt someone this morning by the words I said at the press conference, I sincerely apologize. I am not anti-Semitic or racially prejudiced in any way, nor am I a Nazi.”
All this doesn’t matter though because he’s now been banned from the festival, which is weird seeing as he has previously won the Palme d’Or for Dancer in the Dark, one of the most upsetting films ever made.
If his new film wins, which it won’t now, someone else associated with it is going to have to pick up the trophy.
And it is here that hecklerspray would like to put themselves forward to pick the award up on behalf of Von Triers. It isn’t beneath us to say things in public, in the name of humour, that make ‘I’m a Nazi’ look like the most inoffensive piffle ever uttered.
Go on Lars. Pay our fare and we’ll ruin your chances of ever making a film ever again!
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Mike says
heil Lars! juden raus!