Terrible breakfast of shit, Mumford & Sons, want us to listen to them talking about their next album. As if it wasn’t enough that we had to endure their beige, tepid, tuneless, flaccid music in the first instance. And don’t say ‘Don’t like it, don’t listen’ because they’re bloody played EVERYWHERE, ALL THE STUPID TIME.
Anyway, they’ve got some new, awful material to release. You’re probably wondering what it sounds like.
Well, according to the self imposed trampery that makes up the band, the new album will sound like “Black Sabbath meets Nick Drake”. Forgive us while we puncture the vital, thick veins that run down our necks, now.
Of course, there’ll be fans out there desperate to defend Mumford & Sons. They’ll probably point out that they went to a gig which they thought was incredible. That’s just conjecture though because your opinion counts for shit.
Or, perhaps fans would like to point out that ‘Sigh No More’ has sold a squillion units! It’s just been certified platinum in the US and four times platinum in the UK! Yep. Popularity equals quality doesn’t it. That means we can assume that Mumford & Sons fans are ready and willing to fight the corner of LMFAO and Black Eyed Peas.
Maybe, just maybe, you think they’re really talented because they write their own music. Never mind the fact that 99% of Motown records weren’t written by the artist that sang them and that scum like Bruno Mars writes his own stuff. No, writing your own music is definitely advantageous to someone listening to a record, right?
Where were we?
Oh yes, speaking to Rolling Stone about their second studio album, bassist Ted Dwane said:
“The second record is just a reflection of our mindsets, where we’re all at. It’s doom folk, kind of like Black Sabbath meets Nick Drake.”
Doom folk. Nick Drake meets Sabbath. That was said without a hint of irony. Mumford & Sons actually believe they can aim toward either outfit. That’s because they’re spectacular, chinless goons in bad suits.
2012 is the year the LP comes out and, with any luck, humans will have evolved into complete deafness by that point.
Unicorn dandy says
Mumford & sons,please stop! :'( you guys are terrible.