Want to hear something scary? The first Mr. Bean movie grossed £123 million pounds at the box office. The television series – brainchild of Richard Curtis, writer and director of Love, Actually and therefore punishable only by slapping – is now one of the most widely viewed across the globe.
Which means that – along with Marmite, drizzle and mass-produced commemorative plates featuring special bestest-lady-who-ever-lived Princess Diana – this fair sceptred isle is probably best known worldwide for the bumbling misadventures of a hopeless gurning twat. No, not Prince Charles. We mean Mr Bean, fools.
As the late Saint Bill Hicks once remarked on a visit to England, ‘isn’t this the same country where George Bernard Shaw used to jot things down?‘
Surely we can do better than this? Surely?
Well … no. We can’t. Because gurnmeister-general himself Rowan Atkinson has announced his intention to sign on the dotted line for upcoming horrorshow Mr Bean 2.
Of course, Mr. Bean 2 is an entirely speculative title. That goes without saying. Hecklerspray is 100% sure that director Simon McBurney and all the lovely executives involved will come up with a suitably audience-grabbing moniker …
… but in the meantime how about a few suggestions?
Mr Bean 2: The Drivel Continues? Bean II: The Legend Of The Hibernating Braincells? Or maybe – a personal favourite – The Return Of Bean: Hide, For Christ’s Sake, Just Hide. Quickly. Now. No, No, Don’t Look. Just Hide. HIDE. For The Love Of God, HIDE.
There’s always a certain sadness when it comes to watching Rowan Atkinson ‘do his thing’. There’s always an inevitable mental cast-back to the beautifully observed perfomances he gave across four BlackAdder series, or – stretching further back – the twentysomething young upstart holding his own with Peter Cook and the Python boys at Amnesty Benefit gig The Secret Policeman’s Ball.
And now?
And now. Watching Atkinson play Bean is just like watching Chaplin star in Dude, Where’s My Car? As Michael Corleone said to Fredo, teary-eyed and wavering … it breaks our heart. It breaks our heart.
Hecklerspray can only assume that something untoward has happened – that Atkinson has placed a big-stakes wager with Ben Affleck, Cuba Gooding Jr. and David Icke, simply to see which one of them can amass the biggest number of staggeringly bad career choices over the course of their lives.
God knows what the prize money must be. But keep going, Rowan … you’re almost there …
… Mr. Bean 3 ought to do it …
[story by C J Davies]
winsonkoh says
i would love to see mr bean in action, again for the last time!~ It’s been so long since the first movie and the tv animated series were not that good thought. I’m sure this movie will rock even more than the first one.
ulweng says
can you imgane that mr.bean in action. must be funny. i hope this film is good. i am the fan for mr.bean. so, keep the good work rowan. and simon