Miley Cyrus: The Inevitable Move to Bad Girl, Complete With Vaguely Strong Language
Miley Cyrus is a name you have been forced to learn.
This is because you have a pre-teen daughter, or because the whole world threw a giant hissy over her photos in Vanity Fair, or because you’re a bit pervy like the majority of hecklerspray readers, and virtually all of the male staff.
But Miley Cyrus isn’t just kittens and cupcakes anymore. She’s angry, and she’s attempting to make the predictable jump from super sweet to angry and edgy in her new album. No, really. She totally is.
Miley Cyrus has a lot to be angry about. Everyday she has to get up and make the challenging decision of ‘blond wig, or no wig’? And then there’s her dad, Billy Ray Cyrus, with mandatory bi-daily performances of Achy-Breaky Heart, complete with mullet and sleeveless flannel shirt.
But what she really has to be mad about is boys. Boys make Miley Cyrus more than mad, they make her (gasp) angry. That’s right, her new album is going to be all hardcore and angry, and stuff.
Miley unleashed her terrifying rage to Ryan Seacrest in a radio interview for KIIS-FM on Wednesday. Parental discretion is advised for reading the following statement from Miley as she describes her wrath about ex-boyfriends:
"The word 'hate' could describe how angry I am. [It goes] through all the different stages of what's been going on the past couple years," Miley said. "It was like a little therapy moment for me."
Aside from those stages which include pre-training brassiere stage, training brassiere stage, and post-training brassiere stage, Miley has gone through some difficult stuff when it comes to boys, and she's hoping to get back at them through song. Miley also said:
"I want them to be upset. That was my point. I was a little worried, but I'm excited that I just did it."
These are the things that make for groundbreaking music. Look out, Avril Lavigne and Ashlee Simpson. There’s a new spurious, pseudo-angry rocker chick on the affluent suburban block.
I didnt realize her dad was famous, just shows its not what you know its who you know. die bitch.
Ms. Cyrus’ greatest achievement is turning the formerly child-safe Female Back into a Naughty Bit. This comprised an overnight 25% increase in the supply of female naughty bits, dwarfing the recent gains in the price of oil.
I think Miley will be a welcome, and influential addition to todays burgeoning neo-punk movement, following in the brave, hardcore trail that has been blazed by living legends Ashlee Simpson, Avril Lavigne, Fall Out Boy, and those guys in really skinny jeans and awful haircuts. I can’t remember their names, but they’re everywhere…
LMAO!!! MILEY ! IS A RICH LOSERRRR
You crack me up, Hyde.
You just better back off, max.
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"david", it takes alot more than a one hit wonder dad to have a hit movie, show and two number one records, and a sold out concert. i don’t think any of her fans knew about her father so how would he be an advantage? wheres all the other children of famous people?
UGHH – that’s classic backward logic.
The other sluggard children of allegedly talented people
aren’t the issue. Enormously talented children of
‘nobodies’ would have a much harder time seeing the light of day.
That’s completely leaving aside the fact that MC is
a poisonous product for the minds, ears and souls
of the world. She’s shit; what do sales prove?
People buy crap hamburgers at McDonalds by the billion
but they are neither nutritious nor good food.
This song should sell 7 copies.
Be glad when she retires from music.
Same for her dad.
Miley i love your songs I will pray for u
wow miley is a poser!
sorry but she will never be hardcore…
just thinking that makes me laugh
if miley is so good why does she expose her body all the time