Talking about Miley Cyrus all the time may be bad enough, but then we have to go and bring in this Jonas Brothers kid in just to see how far things can actually go downhill.
As if covering the near-endless slew of nearly naked pictures of a 15-year-old isn’t bad enough, now the media feels compelled to report on the fact that two 15-year-olds used to go out with each other. For a bit. And young Hannah Montana has gone and told us all about it. And hecklerspray apparently feels the need to talk about it.
If there was an ounce of dignity left in the world, this ‘news’ is surely the swansong for that poor little blighter. It never stood a chance.
Yet there it is, splashed all over the entertainment press: “Miley Cyrus: Breaking Up With Nick Jonas Was Hard” or the much more tempting: “Miley Cyrus: ‘Maybe I’ll End Up Marrying Nick Jonas'” – every publication getting in its own two cents on the matter, covering a two year relationship between two very young teenagers.
And this is news. That people want to read.
Can someone wake us up from the medically-enforced coma we’re about to put ourselves in when the world stops being so clinically insane, thanks.
You can understand the thinking behind the story when you go to its source – it comes from a magazine called ‘Seventeen’, the type aimed at young teenage girls. Miley Cyrus is sure to be something of a hero to these girls and her talking about a relationship she was in – one that went wrong no less – is sure to give her kudos with the whole ‘relatability’ angle. Fair enough.
There was even a quote from Miley herself talking about it, and it’s just as flowing and eloquent as you would expect from a tweeny prat like her:
“[Nick and I] became boyfriend and girlfriend the day we met. He was on a quest to meet me, and he was like, ‘I think you’re beautiful and I really like you.’ And I was like, ‘Oh, my gosh, I like you so much.'”
If that’s not enough pure, distilled fact in your face for you then don’t worry – she went on:
“Nick and I loved each other. We still do, but we were in love with each other. For two years he was basically my 24/7. But it was really hard to keep it from people. We were arguing a lot, and it really wasn’t fun.”
Why in the name of all that isn’t awful in this world (an ever-decreasing amount of things) does she think she’s anything other than just a kid? Why is she spouting pseudo-psychological bullshit akin to that coming from a 35-year-old career divorcee? Why can’t she just shut up and get on with her dancing?
And, probably most importantly: why in the name of all that is considered right, moral and not-at-all-stupid-and-pointless was this re-reported on anything approaching the ‘adult’ media? Surely anyone that actually wants to read this stuff is a little bit weird, and probably the kind of person that shouldn’t be allowed to look at kids in the first place?
But hey – as always, we can’t blame the media, because it’s the plebs out there that shape the way they report, and if there weren’t a market for it, they sure as hell wouldn’t print it.
It appears to be yet another pile of this overbearing cynicism that was all too apparent in the Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt kid’s photos story, and frankly it annoys us this early in the morning.
Hopefully we can go back to some light-hearted character assassination later today, but for now hecklerspray will just sit, stewing, trying to hold back the chunks of bile-encrusted rage-vomit from hitting the screen or staining the desk.
Oh, and: good morning!
??? says
Well, she cannot sing or act and the brothers cannot sing nor act. Then they are like this golfer Wie, she never wins but, is always in the news. ?????????
.... says
id like to know, how you think the jonas brothers cant sing? i honestly want to know. because if you’ve listened to even one of their songs, you might not like it, but you would know that the truth of the matter is, they have amazing voices, and can sing.
Shannon Starr-Kulp says
Like I don’t feel nauseaus enough boyfriend/girlfriend at age 13 Hello parents!!! So not paying attention to your spoiled brats or enjoying all the fringe benefits that they and you get….UGH!!!!!! What’s this world coming to??? Pitiful. But I don’t what is worse me responding to this crap or that I even did it. If I don’t ever hear their names again I will be a happy woman
!!! says
Yeah they can sing just like everyone else can. They open their mouths and speak with a rhythmic tone. But the amazing voices? No…. Average at best. Not amazing.
russell dickerson says
it really burns my ass about all of these new singers that are suppose to be so hot and most of them cant sing at all, they lip scyinc, as in the days of the temps ,smokey, gladys,gaye and i could go on and on, black or white singers new how to sing with out all of theses fixures and barely clothed girls to take your attention away from their singing ablity. what happened to the groups that really sung love songs from the heart and made you and your girl feel brand new, now dont get me wrong there are some out there that can sing,so lets get back to that. its find to see singers on the screen doing all of those moves and what not but on stag they could not do half of what they do because the camra with its tricks does it all.
Tayta says
Ummm….. no she will not marry Nick jonas because he can do much better than that white trash thta everyone in this world calls miley cyrus destany hope cyrus hannah montana…. i think that miley was plain stupid to break up with nick jonas he is everything and more that any girl could ask for!
jen says
Well I think that the Jonas brothers are so hot. The one that I really like us nick. He’s the best one from all 3 of them..and nick and miley were the best couple but I guess that wasn’t good for her..Well I don’t care anyways I think miley could sing.Her songs a cool.
Henry Hamilton says
sombreros on them. 3. Announce \”I hat you too, ya little shits.\”