Thank You, Mike Tyson For Not Murdering Brad Pitt

Mike TysonBrad Pitt may seem like a bit of a douche these days, but when he was younger he?had some seriously big balls.?According to boxing?legend Mike Tyson, Brad was sleeping with Mike’s wife when they were separated but still legally married. At that time, Mike was the reigning?heavyweight champion?of the world and Brad was not yet famous.

Iron Mike?seems to have mellowed?considerably with age, but he is still a?scary dude. Finding yourself on his bad side, even now,?would easily cause grown men to shit their pants in terror. In his younger days though, he was completely insane, volatile and violent, biting people’s ears off, date-raping, and essentially scaring the shit out of everyone?who crossed?his path.

In an interview with?Graham Bensinger on Yahoo! Sports,?Mike describe walking in on his former wife, actress Robin Givens, in bed with Brad Pitt back in 1988. At that time, Mike and Robin were in the process of divorcing after just a few months of marriage following allegations of domestic abuse.?Though relatively unknown these days, Robin was quite famous?back then as one of the stars of?the popular sitcom Head of the Class on which she played beautiful genius bitch Darlene.

In his interview, Mike describes his unusual relationship with his then-estranged wife.

“I was getting a divorce, but? every day before I would go to my lawyer?s office to say ?[my wife Robin is] a pig and stealing,? [then] I would go to her house to have sex with her.”Mike Tyson and Robin Givens

On one?occasion, Mike showed up for a quickie with Robin?but had been beaten to the punch (ha ha) by none other than Brad Pitt.?In the interview with?Graham Bensinger, Mike says that he found Robin and Brad in bed. In another interview, given to Global Grind in April, he described crossing paths with Robin and Brad?outside the house.

“One day, I?m going to her house to bone her again and no one?s home, and I?m leaving and she?s pulling up with Brad Pitt, and I?m sad.”

Vulgar and child-like at the same time. Mike clarifies that in 1988 Brad wasn’t famous yet.

“He wasn?t Brad Pitt back then. He was just some little beach-bum-looking dude. … He was very pretty.”

Brad Pitt and Robin Givens

Mike says that he was angry, but he did not consider demolishing Brad’s pretty face. Mostly he was sad that he would no longer be able to nail his soon-to-be ex-wife.

“I wasn?t thinking about attacking him. I was just depressed I couldn?t bone her no more.”

I’m comfortable speaking on behalf of the world when I say that we’re grateful that Mike didn’t kill or maim Brad Pitt, but the big question is:?what in the hell was Brad thinking? Not good judgment, buddy, not good at all. Evidently?Robin and he met when he had a bit role on Head of the Class.?But she was not some random chick. She was famous and was famously divorcing her heavyweight champion husband for?abuse. Brad Pitt is one lucky guy with,?as I said earlier, seriously big balls.