Stupid Michael Jackson. He caused trouble for everyone when he was alive, trouble which was unfathomably passed off by fans because he donated a slender portion of his grotesque wealth to charity and, since his death, has caused even more hassle for everyone.
When will this horror end?
When he’s wasn’t mangling his face to the point where he could curdle Pepsi simply by staring at it, getting caught up in various scandals involving children and having pale children despite having the DNA of a black man, he went and died because it was the only thing that could keep him in the centre of everyone’s attention. Just ask Dr Conrad Murray. And now, some boring insurance people are getting in on the act as well, refusing to pay-up, thanks to Jackson’s “prescription drugs use/or addiction”. The daft prancing junkie.
That’s right. Lloyds have been charged with the payout over Jacko’s comeback gigs and have asked a judge in Los Angeles to nullify the policy, basically meaning that they’re refusing to pay out the $17.5million to cover the cancellation.
Promoter, AEG Live, are still stood at the doors of Lloyds with an impatient hand out, waiting for a huge bag of cadaver shaped money to land in it. Basically, no-one actually cares that Jackson has died – everyone concerned just wants money.
Understandable really when dealing with a potentially strung-out ghost.
Lloyds reckon that a lawyer for the promoter submitted a claim, along with Jackson?s death certificate, within days of Michael’s passing. Sadly for AEG, Lloyds are pointing out that a required medical examination was never carried out when the policy was taken out.
This saw rapturous applause in the offices of Lloyds, where a group of balding men in badly cut suits started to do Bo Selecta! impressions of Michael Jackson, much to the annoyance of everyone else who worked there. Sha’mon, etc.
Basically, the insurer is saying that, for all of the reasons given, they are not obliged to pay for the cost of cancelling the shows.
So, stick that in your pipe and smoke it. May hecklerspray suggest that each individual Michael Jackson fan offers one solitary dollar to whom it may concern to cover the cost of the cancellation? They’ll do anything, and blindly, for Michael Jackson.
All it requires is that someone dig up Jackson’s corpse – who in fairness will still look like the singer when he was alive, regardless of decomposition – and animate him with wires, Jim Henson style, and get him to make a televised plea for the money needed.
And we’ll take 10 per cent for that idea.
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You know says
You know, every once in while when all the stars align just right and the hairs on Mof’s ass lay just right Heckler comes up with a good idea. Namely stringing jacko up and doing the Henson on him. I mean, who would honestly know the difference? And I’m betting with his Mr. Potato head cosmetic face Jim Henson could really make it work. Just swap out noses, chins, and cheeks for each set. Wow, imagine the possibilities.
cawobeth says
“Stupid”, eh ? One finger points out, 3 point back.
CassieforMaxwell says
Either you are dumb or perhaps just stupid, but regardless it would be wise if you took the time to verify your information before making an ignorant statement about how much money Michael Jackson donated to charity during his lifetime. Slender will hardly suffice.
The rest of your idiotic rant doesn
sonia says
Wow! bet neither of you were popular growing up and obviously never did complete that task!! Not even worth a comment….you are sick and twisted losers.
none of yo dam business says
Fuck you motherfucker. how dare u talk about michael like dat! he looke 1000 times better than you will ever look and you are jealous. he nevr cause anyone no harm. so why dont u go suck yo daddy’s dick and leave him the hell alone…it’s people like u who i cant stand…its really quite sad cause u dont have anything better to do but sit down and talk about mj…dat tells me something…go screw yourself bitch!!!!!!!