Being a Michael Jackson fan must really be a pain in the ring sometimes. Based on his fans who frequent our pages, we assume that they?d peck each other?s eyes out if someone said something vaguely negative.
Of course, you can only share the love of Michael by buying all of his tacky merchandise, such as albums that sound like they were recorded by Joe Jackson.
Unless members of the Jackson estate are wiping their anal passages with money, they shouldn?t be short of a few quid. Or, they love money so much that they cook and eat it. Either way, yet another cash-in MJ product is coming your way. Form an orderly queue now as the finishing touches are added to the exclusive Michael Jackson perfume. Great to see more tawdry tat being peddled without his approval!
Like everyone, we assumed that the perfume would be the same fragrance as his decaying corpse, giving fans the chance to feel physically close to their hero and later contract some sort of skin melting disease. However, when we were told Michael Jackson?s corpse wasn?t going to be used as a base for the scent, we were completely taken aback.
What other core components from the singers life could be extracted to obtain an authentic perfume from his life? A lump of Bubbles faeces? The belt used to beat him as a kid? Or how about the tears of the children that Michael Jackson bottled as a keepsake after they had slept over at his house?
In fact, it's something much more disappointing that that. The scent in question has bugger all to do with Michael Jackson. If it had been the stale bed sheets he slept in, we?d be more impressed. Instead, you can now smell like the flowers that grew at his Neverland Ranch in Beverley Hills. So now, when someone sniffs you and asks ?what are you wearing??, you can say ?the smell of Michael Jackson?s roses, dandelions and stinging nettles.? You’ve always wanted to say that, right?
Some newspaper that isn’t nearly as good as us reports how Franck Rouas got the chance to create the smelly water:
Two over-excited kids suddenly burst forward and asked me if they could borrow a pen to get an autograph from someone,? said the 38-year-old French entrepreneur. ?I asked them whose autograph they wanted ? and they shouted: ?Michael Jackson?s family?. I gave them the pen, along with two bottles of perfume and asked them if they could give them to Janet Jackson.? An hour later, two bodyguards escorted Mr Rouas to meet the family ? after Joseph Jackson, Michael?s father, smelt the gift.
That meddling Janet Jackson, not only does she release terrible records, but now thanks to her, delirious Michael Jackson fans will now pay about ?55 for a bottle of perfume that?ll no doubt come in a bottle that looks like in a syringe used by Dr. Conrad Murray to APPARENTLY administrate drugs to Jackson so he'd be off his tits on all sorts of brain altering drugs.
Now all it needs is a catchy name. How about ?touched?? Oh wait – he got acquitted of doing that.
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!
dave says
And cue the retarded MJ fans……
Justice says
Wow Matthew Laidlow, your one bitter Son of a Biotch. You must have some personal Vendetta against Michael Jackson and His family. Relax take a chill pill Medication and stop being so negative against the Entertainer. Im pretty sure if he was as bad as you describe him during his lifetime he would have gone to your house and slapped His Man meat in your face While his Entourage Pull down your man thong and slap some peanut butter on your wienerschnitzel for Bubbles to clean up, Uncalled for? Well eye for an eye.
Ria says
Amazing.
hoohaahee says
@justice
..stop typing your revolting re-worded MJ fantasies as criticism
Anonymous says
Why don’t you choke on a dick, you arrogant piece of shit!
Cathy T says
Cue the Jealous haters!
NoneofyaBiz says
Good on ya….You Cock Smoker…you only did this for a reaction…and yeah you got one…Gossip for Grown UPs ????? Well why dont you Grow The Fuck Up….you would actually be a great writer if you werent so immature…oh ok so thats why your here…No one would actually pay you for your crap…Aroma of a decaying corpse…Bubbles Feaces…give me a break you sick fuck…Yeah you got a reaction, but not in defence of MJ but more to the fact that Sick fucks like you actually know wot these aromas smell like….Im not against ppl having their say against ppl they dont like but hey your nasty words i find unnecessary, and you want to pray no MJ fan finds out who you are or where you work…they can be pretty brutal…but then again you knew that…thats why you posted such vial crap….
Montreal Girl says
You should learn how to punctuate…
mj blew boys says
NoneofyaBiz /Justice,
Ignorant slut who makes death threats. Hope they track your illiterate butt down hater.
Vana says
The scent of the new perfume is based on flowers that grew at Neverland. I am offended that anyone thought his corpse would be used. How sick is that? The MJ haters need to chill out. It isn’t that serious!
wacko is rotting in hell says
Justice who is also NoneofyaBiz, the one making threats is a nut named Bonnie Cox. She is deranged, nasty and sick in the head. She’s an obese woman who didn’t start adoring the dead MJ until after his death. She trolls all day and night. She has at least 100 aliases to stalk posters with. I hope she gets arrested once and for all.
Find the fat coward here.
http://michaelsguardian.blogspot.com/
Barbara says
Too bad this sick “article” was commented. That’s just what this poor writer was after.
Deborah Ffrench says
mjlover4life is the death threat making lunatic. She spams topix all day with her vile rants. She’s cuss’n and screaming right now. Lowlife cracker who can’t spell.
whatever you say umhmmmm prove all of them things or shut the f/ck up
your the sick troll that’s paranoid
I’m NOT here 24-7 you F’LOSERS are, count my posts and then count yours,
I’M ONE NICK AND THIS ONE IS IT!!!!!!!!!! I SUPPOSE I’M Charles Thomson AND Deborah Ffrench and Aphrodite Jones and Geraldine Hughes and Susan Etoc too right you are soooooooooo stupid and paranoid your pathetic, lay off on the weed will ya?
I do work and sleep you retard
I MADE NO DEATH THREATS YOU MOMO if I did then why the f/ck aren’t I in jail yet you retard because they would have been checked me and my computer out stupid,
I REFUSE TO POST ON TMZ WHAT PART OF THAT DO YOU NOT COMPREHEND??????????
and stupid I never said I’m leaving either just because I ignore you retards for the most part DOES NOT MEAN I’M LEAVING RETARD
I’M EDUCATED TOO YOU MOMO I don’t have to prove it to none of you F’LOSERS
yes my 2 boys do exist and I’m not posting their pics on here so you can find out my real name, NOT!!!!!!!!!!
BRING IT ON AND “OUT” ME I DARE YOU, I HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT PROVE MY “SO-CALLED” DEATH THREATS POST EM HERE SO I CAN SEE THEM what’s that you can’t find any? well stupid that’s because there are “NONE” I know where I posted and what I posted and yes I have caught and proven the demon in every lie that she said about Michael and his kids with links and proof {Is that a death threat}? calling and proving the demon a liar and proving her one? I never said not one death threat to her or even you haters deal with it, or prove it
I know what and where I posted and as who ONE 1 NAME except for serious sites then I use my real name and you momo’s will never know hahaha, F’LOSERS PROVE ALL THAT SHIT OR SHUT IT!!!!!!!!!!
Bring it on you retard you seem to think you know where and what I posted bring it on, and let me see what I supposedly said.
and no I’m not looking for them you are so insistent that I did them then you prove it I’m not.
until then good riddance.
Bring it of shut it I know everything I said to the demon and not one death threat bring it on!!!!!!!!!!
ooh I’m Scirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrred NOT!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous says
You son of a cock sucking Bitch , i FUCKING HATE WHITE ASS CRACKERS . Who are you to Talk about MJ , MuhhFuckaa , when your ass die , Who’s gonna give A shit ? , NO one BITCH . BUT WHEN HE DIED , THE WHOLE WORLD CARED ; cock Sucking Cracker you aint NOTHING , making up these Ratchet ass stories ; it’s people like YOU that killed him & made him act the way he did ; Nigga you aint nothing . how would you like it if someone made up a story about YOUR ASS saying that you were a molester , which you probably are ; look at your ‘ Makin ‘ 24$ an hour ‘ Lookin ass , you aint SHIT , do you really think this story is gonna go somewhere ? Your just another white ass MuhhFuckaa hating on MJ , which i Dont even know thaa Fqkk why ? He was an amazing enteratiner & as a human being . You’ll repe what you sow you redneck . & just remember , when you die , who’s gonna care ? NO ONE , your just another human being that no one knew & who could care less about . & in the bible it says you shouldn’t Lie , right ? & your making up these sick stories along with your other tabloid friends , but when judgment day comes , you’ll get it Crackaa ! HA laugh on that MuhFuckaaa . & i Dont know why thee Fqkk you think this shit is funny , cuss it aint BITCH ASS . DAMN ! i Fucking hate people like you that make up stories , especially about this man . Poor man , LEAVE HIM ALONE ! he’s DEAD , DECEASED ! damn ! HOP OFF HIS TIP , yall riding him NonStop , GIVE HIM PEACE , jesus Livin ‘ Christ , give him some Peacee ;
NonYaBiznazz. says
You son of a cock sucking Bitch , i FUCKING HATE WHITE ASS CRACKERS . Who are you to Talk about MJ , MuhhFuckaa , when your ass die , Who’s gonna give A shit ? , NO one BITCH . BUT WHEN HE DIED , THE WHOLE WORLD CARED ; cock Sucking Cracker you aint NOTHING , making up these Ratchet ass stories ; it’s people like YOU that killed him & made him act the way he did ; Nigga you aint nothing . how would you like it if someone made up a story about YOUR ASS saying that you were a molester , which you probably are ; look at your ‘ Makin ‘ 24$ an hour ‘ Lookin ass , you aint SHIT , do you really think this story is gonna go somewhere ? Your just another white ass MuhhFuckaa hating on MJ , which i Dont even know thaa Fqkk why ? He was an amazing enteratiner & as a human being . You’ll repe what you sow you redneck . & just remember , when you die , who’s gonna care ? NO ONE , your just another human being that no one knew & who could care less about . & in the bible it says you shouldn’t Lie , right ? & your making up these sick stories along with your other tabloid friends , but when judgment day comes , you’ll get it Crackaa ! HA laugh on that MuhFuckaaa . & i Dont know why thee Fqkk you think this shit is funny , cuss it aint BITCH ASS . DAMN ! i Fucking hate people like you that make up stories , especially about this man . Poor man , LEAVE HIM ALONE ! he’s DEAD , DECEASED ! damn ! HOP OFF HIS TIP , yall riding him NonStop , GIVE HIM PEACE , jesus Livin ‘ Christ , give him some Peacee ; ahh , dumb ass .
NonYaBiznazz. says
You son of a cock sucking Bitch , i FUCKING HATE WHITE ASS CRACKERS . Who are you to Talk about MJ , MuhhFuckaa , when your ass die , Who’s gonna give A shit ? , NO one BITCH . BUT WHEN HE DIED , THE WHOLE WORLD CARED ; cock Sucking Cracker you aint NOTHING , making up these Ratchet ass stories ; it’s people like YOU that killed him & made him act the way he did ; Nigga you aint nothing . how would you like it if someone made up a story about YOUR ASS saying that you were a molester , which you probably are ; look at your ‘ Makin ‘ 24$ an hour ‘ Lookin ass , you aint SHIT , do you really think this story is gonna go somewhere ? Your just another white ass MuhhFuckaa hating on MJ , which i Dont even know thaa Fqkk why ? He was an amazing enteratiner & as a human being . You’ll repe what you sow you redneck . & just remember , when you die , who’s gonna care ? NO ONE , your just another human being that no one knew & who could care less about . & in the bible it says you shouldn’t Lie , right ? & your making up these sick stories along with your other tabloid friends , but when judgment day comes , you’ll get it Crackaa ! HA laugh on that MuhFuckaaa . & i Dont know why thee Fqkk you think this shit is funny , cuss it aint BITCH ASS . DAMN ! i Fucking hate people like you that make up stories , especially about this man . Poor man , LEAVE HIM ALONE ! he’s DEAD , DECEASED ! damn ! HOP OFF HIS TIP , yall riding him NonStop , GIVE HIM PEACE , jesus Livin ‘ Christ , give him some Peacee ; Ughh !
PattyB says
What a piece of crap you are. The man is dead, have some respect you A-hole. Did your mother not teach you anything? I have learned one thing in life, it’s what goes around, comes around, and I can not wait for the day that it comes back to bite you on your fat ass. You are disrespectful and your shameless article only portrays the crap your mother raised. SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Cookie Monster says
Whoa, whoa, whoa, there Lady Justice. A man named “Cedric” is The Entertainer.
I lost you after that. Are you saying that if MJ was as alluded to in the post, that he would have raped Laidlow with the help of a chimp, the cast of Entourage, using sausages and peanut butter, while speaking German? Well, now… I’m not sure what to make of all that. I mean, I though MJ was a disturbed individual, but that little bit you just outlined would make even him go pale. Well, wait, not that… it would make him gasp, like a high-pitched, “Heeee-heeeeee”.
Cookie Monster says
I was positive that the perfume would be based on fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies, bubble gum, and roofies. Instead, it’s based on flowers. Strike that crap from my Valentine’s Day shopping list. Then again, it is a step-up from bearing the musk of dead MJ. The paedophile necropheliac market must look pretty grim in these economic times. Ahem…
wow says
Wow is this even necessary?
This article is seething with Jealousy and hatred, wow.
Sometimes I stop and wander what did Michael Jackson even do to these people who are writing filthy articles about him. Maybe it’s for the attention because nothing gets attention like something about Michael Jackson.
Hmm says
Michael Jackson is resting in peace now. So the writer must be some really depressed dude to write something like this about a dead man. Poor guy, I bet only a less than 5 people would cry when he dies, and the funny thing is no one will write stories about him when he’s dead and gone, and no one will even feel his loss like the way MJ fans feel about him.
mjlover4life is a criminal says
Michael Jackson [email protected]
Cookie Monster says
It’s like poetry, in a disturbing, rather unhinged, eternal clouds of a spotted mind, sort of way. I declare you the new Faulkner, but near-illiterate, and quite retarded. Hooray for you!
bob says
why all the hate? i dont get it
Looking at comments says
Looking at the above comments I can only think Jesus tap dancing while weeping Christ and then laugh my ass off. If some of these posts are truly done in response to the article there are some seriously stupid and disturbing people out in the land of MJ (not that that would be a surprise), if not there are some trolls in desperate need of getting laid.
hayden says
Matthew Laidlow your just a jealous little bitch Michael jackson is the Greatest entertainer to ever live. Michael Broke racial barriers,made the music video famous,and reinvented the moonwalk. What the fuck have you done.
Joe Momma says
Yes he broke racial barriers. He bleached his skin until he became white, well almost.
Ah-ha-ha says
Apparently pissed you, and the rest of the cult of Michael, off. Granted it doesn’t take much to get the whole medication needed group to start drooling on their keyboards in such a fit of rage that they can’t even write coherently, but it’s definitely an accomplishment of sorts. Certainly funnier than watching Tiny Tim with a rubber crutch running from Neverland.
Natalie says
This website sucks. You only posted this so that us, Michael Jackson fans will come and give traffic to your lame website.
You need us to give you that extra boost? You need us to make your page a little more popular?
Yeah well F___ Off. I’m not posting the link to your page to any of the MJ Fans I know. I am not telling anyone that your piece of $#*T article is even on the internet.
F___ Matthew Laidlow. You must be really broke to write an article like this. You’re a nobody. You are only doing this for attention.
This post is a load of BS. You have no respect, or remorse.I really shouldn’t have commented but, since I was here… What the hell. Why not.
Leave Michael alone. You are a piece of garbage. You are lower than low. You are maggots feeding off a deceased man. I hope karma comes for you. And it will.
Money is the root of all Evil and you would do anything for it.
You shall too be judged…. Best believe it.
I hope you read your comments too.
You are the scum of the earth.
You lie to the public for money and attention.
You make jokes, thinking its a big fun game. You don’t even think about his children, who may see this one day. You don’t even think about actually finding out the truth.
You don’t think of the harm it does to Michael Jackson’s name and legacy. You don’t even care.
You don’t care because you don’t know Michael like we do. & if you did, you would feel like the biggest douche in the world. Which is what you are.
You think its entertaining to make fun of someone who lost their childhood?
You think its entertaining to make fun of someone who was EXTORTED all his life?
You think its entertaining to make fun of someone was treated like a public object all his life?
You think it entertaining to make fun of someone that was badgered by press media all his life, and now even in death?
You think its entertaining to make fun of someone whose world was turned upside down when children he cared for and helped, turned around and LIED about him in a court of law. They took away his passion in life and that was HELPING CHILDREN IN NEED.
You think its entertaining to make fun of someone who helped millions of people all around the world?
You think its entertaining to make fun of one of the greatest, most caring, humanitarians that have ever walked this earth?
You think its entertaining to make fun of a person who wanted to “Heal The World” and save our planet of destruction?
You think its entertaining to make fun of a person who touched millions of people around the world and made us all better people?
WELL ITS NOT. GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD.
MJ Warrior says
F*** off you shit of dead ghouls!
crowly says
U stupid twat…the one who wrote this and the haters.
U all LOVE Michael Jackson.
LOVE WITH ALL UR ARSE…
BAB says
FUCK ALL OF YOU ON THIS WEBSITE!!!!!!!!!! BASTARDS!!!!!!!!! Always want to talk about some damn body!!!!!!!!!! FUCK THE MJ HATERS CAUSE YALL DON;T DO NOTHING BUT MAKE US FANS OUT THERE STRONGER!!!!!!!!!! OH AND FUCK YOU MATTHEW LAIDLOW ANOTHER BITCH ASS HATER OUT THERE THAT WILL TALK SHIT ON THE INTERNET INSTEAD IN FRONT OF A CROWD!!!!!!!!!! BITCHES
JoeMomma says
The MJ fans continue to prove my theory that pop music, subliminal message, brainwashing and fluoride turn people into mind controlled zombies. Quick, grab some Soma you Epsilons before the Two Minutes of Hate.
Ell says
Matthew says these things on purpose to get a rise out of MJ fans that’s why this site is called Heckler. The more you take notice the more he will write this trash. I’m an MJ fan but I won’t be buying any perfume. I have far to much respect for Michael.
NoneofyaBiz says
you simple simple….little boy…grow a brain and tell ya mumma that yr a big boy now…and call ppl sluts…hahaha….death threat…wow tell mumma your a good reader too…..wake up dickhead…if it was a threat mate…they would have me…i did supply my detail…..cock sucker….
Randypan says
Best comments section ever.