Remember that Michael Jackson guy? Yeah, the one who did make a whole bunch of amazing records but did his absolute darnedest to distract us from them with a life so peculiar that he pretty much invited the ridicule into his life.
But who are we to judge? Only a judge should judge, right?
Well, that’s what is going to happen as a man with God On His Side (or whatever special treatment judges get) presides over Jackson’s cadaver, pointing at it and glaring at Dr Conrad Murray, saying ‘Did you do this? Did you? Have you been a naughty boy?’ Of course, MJ fans can’t wait! However, that’s exactly what they will have to do.
That’s right Jackolites. Even through the pop sensation has been dead for nearly two-years (yep, its that long since you saw his silver serving platter of a coffin wheeled out before his singing siblings in an arena), there’s still been no trial.
Thanks to the wonderfully slow moving American legal system, Conrad Murray has not stood trial, despite being accused of killing a very famous and spectacularly peculiar man.
Basically, this trial has now been delayed until September, giving us all ample time to devise tatty merchandise, produce it and flog it on eBay before things get going (such as this fine t-shirt which Murray should wear to court).
Of course, this wouldn’t be a Michael Jackson article without a mention of the word ‘propofol’.
That’s the junk that Murray is accused administering in lethal amounts in Michael’s veins. The defence are arguing that the amount Murray administered should not have been fatal and that Jackson must’ve been self-administering the drug while Murray was out of the room. Meanwhile, everyone else is saying that Murray didn’t know what he was doing and could be found running around asking people if they knew how to do CPR.
Thankfully, this will all be televised and we can glare at Jackson’s corpse one last time.
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Cookie Monster says
Not a one comment? Mof, it’s best to leave the MJ fan poking to Laidlow. This post had not even one reference to the King of Pop’s wang. You will never achieve the coveted “new low” carrying-on like this.
I’m reduced to pointing-out that “Even through the pop sensation” is kind of funny, in isolation. Oh, and “spectacularly peculiar man”, is wrong. I have it on the good authority of another Hecklerspray heckler’s spraying that he was “able to formulate a complete sentence, normal, and practical” and further, “a very composed, normal, religious hard-hitting 47 year old man” before he kicked the asses of The Beatles and Elvis in the hereafter’s lifetime drug consumption competition. So, erm, nyah-nyah.
CatWhisperer says
I think Mof is the best at MJ fan poking! Plus you gotta love Jackolites. (the term, not the actual people). And he did get propofol in there, so thats something.