To the untrained eye, you might think that every article on here is written after a long night of drinking. That simply isn't true.
Every single word here goes through a tedious process. First a monkey punches a typewriter, then the results are passed to a child for English practice, then a gormless writer edits it.
Michael Jackson possibly went through the same routine when releasing his albums. With a crotch touch here and a flaming hairdo there, everything was tuned to a fine key. But recent tapes featuring the singer in conversation supposedly suggest he hated the original recordings of Thriller. So much so that he wanted to pig out on ice-cream. Maybe.
Even though he's dead and buried with a silver glove still strapped to his arm, the supposed legend that is Michael Jackson still lives on. If you are a genuine music lover who appreciates top class quality music, you will quite likely be appalled at the sight of bloody Wacko Jacko clogging up the charts. Unlike a blocked drain, we can't chuck some chemicals down to make the problem go away. Instead, we have to wait for the public to grow a morsel of intelligence.
But just like 2Pac, something amazing is coming from Michael Jackson. That's right; he's releasing a brand spanking new song. Sorry, he's releasing a brand spanking new song that was recorded years ago but everyone thought was shit at the time. But now that worms are pecking away at his body, it's about time to release it and make some money. If you stop and listen closely, you\’ll hear Joe Jackson rubbing his hands with glee.
But the career of Michael Jackson may not have been the success it was. Oh lordy, at one point the deluded man of pop threatened to pull the plug on the whole recording sessions of Thriller. You know, the album which always gets played at weddings, Halloween, New Year’s Eve and other occasions where people think they can sing and dance to it when drunk. According to the News of the World, there’s a tape where Michael says:
“Thriller sounded so crap. The mixes sucked. When we listened to the whole album, there were tears… I just cried like a baby. I stormed out of the room and said we’re not releasing this. Call [record company] CBS and tell them they are NOT getting this album. We are NOT releasing this.”
Hold us tight and make us a sandwich! What happened next? Did daddy beat him around a bit to make see sense? Or did the record company threaten to lock him in a room and let sister Janet Jackson sing the album to him? Oddly, this wasn?t the case. He got inspired. Again, the News of the World reports:
?Michael revealed how he left the studio – West Lake in Los Angeles – and spent some time alone, watching children in a schoolyard.?
When we're down and feeling generally rubbish, we?ll either go see our mates for a few beers, put on a good film or play snakes and ladders. It might be an American thing to do, but watching kids play in schools? Hmm, that sounds a little bit dodgy to us.
Still, it was a good decision for Michael to perve over kids playing on the swings. He decided to release Thriller and it sold millions. Quite a good thing too, as it more than likely covered his legal fees for, well, you know.
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Nina says
Mr. Matthew Laidlow, your article has made me sick, it saddens me deeply that media writers like you are still trying to put Michael down. You have no right to talk about him like that, you never lived his life, you were never in his skin and suffer all what he did. If for a second you were a spec of him, you would have also been sick of humilliation. For people like you is that tabloids should never exist. I feel sorry for your soul…
Rachel says
seriously, your an asshole.
Fred says
You should have Laid low like your name says. Laid 6 feet under for having the audacity to publish your over opinionated garbage.
angie says
wow, i got here by mistake, buit since im here i wanna ask, do you get paid for writing such garbage??!!! god, where I live people has real jobs.
lilywhite says
I really wish the Google news feed didn’t pick up hecklerspray, LOL. It really brings down the general IQ of commenters quite a good deal.
Der Golem says
It’s hard to accept that our idols often have feet of clay or that irony is what makes the world go round. I, for one, am glad I understand both those concepts (unlike previous commenters) and that Matthew and all the staff at hecklerspray continue to take the piss with style, flair and an extra dollop of sarcasm.
Love to you all.
Burch says
Yeah Matthew, he was blessing those kids with his Jesus seed.
chris says
hey lowlaid mat. like angie i got here by accident but i was clicking around on all the websites that had anything to do with micheal jackson. let me set something straight, he was not a child molester, he enjoyed watching children do what he never got to do, he did not have a child hood.thats why the neverland ranch came about. he was highly critical about his own music and himself. and wanted everything to be perfect. so do us all a favor, next time you publish something do some research on what your going to write about insted of speading sheer ignorance all over the net.
D|V|C says
Am not defending the guy but… did you ever know that what you mention was also a subject on the Moonwalk book? People who publishes informed, should have. Just to let you know, he said that the album was terrible, but he was meaning, as your quote, to the mixes. And after a restarted process of mixing which he carefully watched, that took even 2 weeks to get the bassline of billie jean, as an example, the album sounded.I remember he said in the book, that ‘he learned the importance of the mixing process’ with this. so… what is the new for you?
Tommy Michaels says
Your comments really show how lame you really are. Get a life and try reading a book.
Vanessa says
Wow.Your pretty messed up.But its all good, cause apparentley your on some kid shit,and cant appriate what GOOD tallen it.All you do is talk big on here,Explain to me how your so talented as michael.Just go talk mess. You aint nothing to sit here and put him down a$$ hole.
Your on sum kid $hit.
chooty says
America killd Micheal. Americans are nuts. And sick minded. I cant take it anymore crap from them. Micheal we will always remember you, your talent and your loving heart.
jenne says
I AGREE WHAT AN ABSOLUTELY JEALOUS ASSHOLE. I WONDER WHAT GOOD YOU HAVE DONE WITH YOUR LIFE JERKO?? HAVE YOU DONATED OVER 300 MILLION DOLLARS TO CHARITY IN LIFE AND CONTINUE TO DONATE MILLIONS UPON MILLIONS IN DEATH. YOUR A SICK SOB SITTING IN FRONT OF A COMPUTER WITH NOTHING ELSE TO DO EXCEPT PUT NASTY WORDS ON PAPER BECAUSE MICHAEL CAN’T DEFEND HIMSELF. YOU KNOW ASSHOLE PEOPLE LIE. THERE IS NO DOUBT IN MY MIND JORDAN CHANDLER LIED, HIS FATHER IS A CERTIFIED PRICK, LISTEN TO THE TAPES …HOW HE WAS GOING TO CASH IN BIG. AND BRING MICHAEL DOWN. THE LIFE THEY LIVE TODAY IS ON MICHAEL’S DOLLAR, OR SHOULD I SAY MICHAEL’S INSURANCE COMPANYS DOLLAR. THAT STREET TRASH ARVIZO’S ATTEMPTED TO BE COPY CATES ONLY AFTER MICHAEL WANTED THAT TRASH OUT OF NEVERLAND. READ..IDIOT..READ..DOWNLOAD THE GQ ARTICLE ABOUT THE EXTORTION BY CHANDLERS. IF THAT WAS TODAY, AND MICHAEL HAD A REAL LAWYER LIKE TOM MESEREAU AND NOT CELEBRITY LAWYERS THAT CASE WOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD ON ARRIVIAL…DOA..DOA..
BOTH OF THOSE FAMILIES SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES, ESPECIALLY THE LYING JORDAN AND GAVIN. GAVIN WAS AT DEATH’S DOOR BEFORE MICHAEL AND HIS CONNECTIONS AND MONEY HELPED THIS LOUSY SHOPLIFTING, CHEATING KID AND HIS NOW CONVICTED OF A FELONY MOTHER FOR MILKING WELFARE AND ALL THE OTHER NO GOOD DEEDS THIS TRASH HAS PULLED OFF. THEY THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO SCORE BIG AND LIVE THE DREAM OF NEVERLAND, INSTEAD THEY ARE THE ONES WHO HAVE PUT MICHAEL WHERE HE IS TODAY..I DON’T THINK MICHAEL EVER GOT OVER THE AGONY AND PAIN THAT TRASH ARVIZO’S PUT HIM, HIS FAMILY AND ESPECIALLY HIS CHILDREN THROUGH…IN THE END, GOD KNOWS AND THEY WON’T GET OUT OF THIS WORLD WITHOUT A PAYBACK, AND THAT GOES FOR FOR THAT LYING JORDAN CHANDLER WHO HAS CHANGED HIS NAME. THE CHANDLERS AND ARVIZOS ARE THE SAME…NOTHING..NOTHING…NOTHING… FOR YOU TO WRITE SUCH A SLANDEROUS KNOW NOTHING FACTUAL BLOG YOU JERK, YOUR JUST THE SAME. I DON’T KNOW IF YOU GET PAID FOR THIS SH…, BUT IF YOU DO, YOU’RE ALSO TRYING TO CASH IN ON MICHAEL’S NAME. THERE ARE 2 TV TABLOID PEOPLE WHO ARE JUST AS BAD, 1. DIANE DIMOND WHO ATTEMPTED TO MAKE A BIG NAME FOR HER SELF DURING THE 05 TRIAL, WITH HER PAYING FOR INTERVIEWS FROM PEOPLE WHO LIED..LIED..PROVEN LIARS, AND THAT WACKO 2. NANCY GRACE WHO IS ABOUT AS RUDE AND CRUDE AS A FEMALE COMES..I AM STILL WAITING FOR HER TO ‘EAT CROW’ AS SHE SAID SHE WOULD DO IF MICHAEL WAS FOUND NOT GUILTY IN 2005. FORGET THE CROW NANCY GRACE ….EAT YOUR WORDS…SHE GOES ON TV EVERYNIGHT AND CALLERS CALL IN HOW ‘BEAUTIFUL’ HER TWINS ARE..BS. THEY’RE REGULAR LOOKING KIDS, NOTHING SPECIAL, NO PHYSICAL BEAUTY WHERE ANYONE WOULD LOOK TWICE AT….AS A MATTER OF FACT THE LITTLE BOY IS ACTUALLY KINDA UGLY , AND THAT’S MY OPINION….NANCY GRACE HAS NEVER APOLOGIZED FOR THE WAY SHE TALKED AND SAID EVERYTHING ANYONE COULD SAY TERRIBLE ABOUT MICHAEL BACK IN 05, ALONG WITH DIANE DIMOND…THEY ARE BOTH OUT FOR TABLOID SENSATIONALISM, AND THOUGHT MICHAEL WOULD BE CONVICTED AND THAN THEY WOULD HAVE HAD MONTHS AND MONTHS OF NEWS OF MICHAEL’S DOWNFALL TO TALK ABOUT…WELL, IT DIDN’T HAPPEN, AND DIANE DIMOND WAS FIRED…FIRED…FIRED…BY COURT TV…WHAT A JOKE SHOW..
AND THAT’S WHAT I HAVE TO SAY…DON’T SPECULATE ON RUMORS, READ THE TRUTH, COURT DOCUMENTS…YOU CAN GET IT ALL ON LINE..
jenne says
oh, AND HOW COULD I LEAVE OUT THAT CRUMMY, LYING BASHIR..BASHIR…BASHIR…FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON’T KNOW WHEN HE WAS CALLED IN COURT TO TESTIFY ABOUT HIS ‘SPECIAL’ HE DID ON MICHAEL, HE HAD AN ABC LAWYER WHO WOULDN’T LET HIM ANSWER HARDLY A QUESTION, BUT WHAT DID COME OUT WAS HE WAS SUED IN LONDON FOR UNLAWFUL DECEITFUL REPORTING, THERE WERE 3 CASES AGAINST HIM AND ONE OF THE CASES WAS WON. HE GOT INTERVIEWS BY MISREPRESENTING WHAT HE WAS DOING. BUT, MICHAEL HAD HIS OWN VIDEOGRAPHER TAPING AND THINGS THAT BASHIR SHOWED WER CUT AND EDITED, BUT MICHAEL’S SHOWED THE ENTIRE CONVERSATIONS, AND THEY WERE QUITE DIFFERENT FROM WHAT THE BASHIRE DOCUMENTARY SHOWED..THERE IS AN ONLINE PETITION TO FIRE MARTIN BASHIR…GOOGLE FIRE MARTIN BASHIR AND FOLLOW THE PROMPTS TO SIGN THE PETITION…FIRE MARTIN BASHIR…FIRE MARTIN BASHIR….FIRE MARTIN BAHIR…
EVERYONE, LET US NOT FORGET..ATTORNEYS, PROSECUTORS, JUDGES, COPS,,THERE ARE BAD APPLES IN ALL THESE PROFESSIONS…THEY LIE, STEAL AND CHEAT,,,JUST LIKE LITTLE KIDS…JORDAN CHANDLER (aka WE DON’T KNOW WHAT HE CALLS HIMSELF TODAY), AND TRASH GAVIN ARVIZO.AND CRAZY FELONY CONVICTED MOTHER JANET ARVIZO.
Marian says
ridiculous. you are going to wait for “us” . . . to gather intelligence. you are going to wait a long time, it’s only just begun, and if you can’t figure out 45 years of musical genius, and how the world mourned him, eeks, why are you writing about music and culture. MJ is not goin’ anywhere, his music, anytime soon, and neither are we . . . Oct 12 release of single, October 26 double album, October 27/28 This Is It . . . Japan buys over 1million tix . . .and people in LA waiting in lines for three days? You think it’s because we’re not intelligent? if you’re tired of MJ, better move to another country. oh wait, that won’t work either.
magnetite says
This (and the tirade pt.1 above it) was delightful. Like a scattergun, scatterbrain shitstorm turned hurricane, it even had an eye in which to catch our breaths. That simple, lonely lowercase ‘oh’ was sublime. Farm machinery fell from the sky, we could hear the cries of the trapped and injured, and our ears finally popped. Then the winds of outrage rose to a howl again. Just beautiful.
Oh, look! There’s a cow in that tree.
jim says
Let his soul rest in peace.MJ was the king of pop. The void which he has created in the music world will remain with music lovers for the next several years
thanks, Jim
http://www.HKGFM.net
JoeMomma says
magnetite
I commend you on actually reading through it. I tried… I couldn’t…
JoeMomma says
You mean until the next no talent hack that comes along to hypnotize the public with innane songs and sublimnial messages.
Of course alternate theories are he was a alien/human hybrid.
GHOST says
WHY ‘NOT WRITE ABOUT YOUR GOOD MUSIC? MICHAEL JACKSON MUST THANK YOU FOR THAT MONEY TO BUY THE BREAD! YOU DO NOT KNOW ABOUT YOU WRITE GOOD MUSIC? I ask you this not to WRONG! THANKS!
shooty* says
That’s a LOT of crazy.
Pamela says
Ditto, what a jerk. Needs tyo go back under the rock he crawled out from,
hoohaahee says
Some folks think for themselves, others believe what they want to.
Take your heads outta your arses and realise that in all probability, this man was a molester.
JoeMomma says
I can see now why you think ‘Beat It’ is good music. Please continue to eat thermometers.
TRACE says
Why is everyone getting so upset, so he wrote some dumb poo-poo to piss you off. Ending up on google and having all of you be upset is exactly what this dude wants. Also, please don’t call him a media writer, that’s silly. He’s a dude who knows someone from this bloggy gossip site, and that’s how he gets to post. He super really wants to be Perez Hilton, but he can’t, he doesn’t understand how it really works. Either way, quit feeding him, these comments (including me) are only making this trashcan site more available.
Marvelous says
Matthew is one of the biggest douchebags on the net!
JoeMomma says
Maybe, but MJ fans are the stuff that ends up in the douchebag.
dizzee says
To say the people who like good music would not like MJ is a joke. He was a great singer and songwriter. Matthew was probably one of those “cool kids” who likes and then dislikes bands before anyone has heard of them.
Just because you don’t like an artist Matt, it does not mean they are not good. There are a lot of artists I appreciate are good, yet I don’t personally like. MJ was undoubtably talented whether you like his stuff or not.
“If you are a genuine music lover who appreciates top class quality music, you will quite likely be appalled at the sight of bloody Wacko Jacko clogging up the charts” ????
– please define “top class music” for us Matt, seeing as you are clearly a notch above the rest of us in terms of being a music lover. The rest of us must just be hacks trying to find our way around the sounds. Cleary you are a wanker.
I don’t remember playing any of your albums or DVD’s lately Matt – oh wait that’s right you’re just a below average writer, who I was stupid enough to stumble across and then read (although give me my dues, I did stop reading about half way through).
Deborah Ffrench says
Aahh, how refreshing, yet another I’m-so-funny article pokes fun at one of the greatest artists of all time to satisfy the demands of a desensitized, cynical, gossip-soaked public, who couldn’t recognize an epic tragedy in a Shakespearan line-up.
But I digress:
If anyone is interested in wanting to know the truth, like I was several weeks ago when
BatmansWalkingFrame says
Genius
mjjily says
Dear MJ-Fans,
we are the founders of this Facebook-group:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=112283208818507&v=wall
and this petition against the broadcasting of “Living With MJ” on the German TV-channel N 24:
http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/michael.html
The target of your Campaign is to put pressure on TV-stations of ALL countries, but we couldn’t find further information on your Facebook-page on how you intend to achieve this…
We think it would be important to contact several groups and probably form a big association.
Would you like to join and what are your ideas to achieve our important goal to stop Martin Bashirs documentary?
We are looking forward to your reply!
Thank you very much!