Michael Jackson: A Hecklerspray Apology

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In light of public opinion, some of the comments and feedback we’ve received on the subject and a recent conversion to the peaceful teachings of Buddhism, Hecklerspray has had a change of heart about Michael Jackson. All those silly things we said about the King of Pop? We didn’t really mean them. We’ve thought long and hard, meditated and pontificated on the subject and we had an epiphany; all those sly little digs, veiled insults and jokes we made about him were wrong. We see that now. You can take this as a solemn pledge to you, dear reader, that we will never speak ill of the great man again. No teasing, no mockery, nothing. We’re sorry.

And we mean that.

With that heartfelt oath out of the way, here’s news that Wesley Snipes had to hold perfectly normal and in no way weird or creepy Michael Jackson’s hand during filming of the ‘Bad’ video in 1987. The late singer, who was definitely only sexually interested in adult women, was reportedly so scared on-set in the tough Harlem neighbourhood where filming took place, that his co-star had to take his hand as they walked down the street.

Gestures such as these were perfectly commonplace in intimidating New York boroughs in the late eighties. The fact that Jackson was 29 years old at the time makes it even more normal and not weird, sad and slightly upsetting at all.

Snipes said:

“I think Michael was a little scared being in Harlem, so we held hands.”

“I was like, ‘Hang in there, Michael. Don’t worry about it, brother – I got you’. I went from being the actor in the scene with him to bodyguarding him.”

He added:

“People were calling out his name – some favorably, some not so favorably… Yelling it across the street. And he’s hearing this… “And he turned to me, and he says, ‘Are you scared?’… “I was like, ‘Nah, Mike. I grew up here. This is all good. Are you scared?’ “He was like, ‘Yeah a little.’”

Had Michael Jackson of employed the Demolition Man star to be his actual bodyguard, it’s safe to say that the job would have been ‘cash-in-hand’ and that the actor probably wouldn’t have declared it to the taxman. Snipes is reportedly facing three years in jail for failing to return his tax forms.

Jackson himself is no stranger to unusual finances. In the 1990’s a series of unfortunate clerical errors at his bank saw large sums of money accidentally transferred to a series of families whose children had stayed at his house and slept in different beds from the singer. Accusations that the Moonwalker plied the young boys with ‘Jesus Juice’ and then ‘Jackson Juice’ could not be further from the truth.

‘This Is It’, the magnificent look at the young, handsome singer in his prime preparing for a string of live dates before the conspiracy to have him tragically murdered is out on DVD now.

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Comments

  1. meg says

    steve you are an ass. what was the point of mocking michael like this? you don’t give a ish so that apology was unnecessary you u could take more diggs only seconds later.

    so what is michael was scared and someone had to hold his hand, it’s kinda cute

  2. Ligaya says

    Sh*t! Fell for it {“apology”) & gave you 1 click. I never click on hecklerspray. Never again…”fool me twice, shame on me”…ha ha ha.

  3. Che says

    ermm.. why exaggerate –

    ”In the 1990’s a series of unfortunate clerical errors at his bank saw large sums of money accidentally transferred to a series of families whose children had stayed at his house and slept in different beds from the singer”

    It was ONE family not a series of families and it came from his insurance company, the documents state ‘negligence’. This payment was after Jackson allowed his naked body to be photographed by authorities and this didn’t stop the investigation and 2 grand juries who in 1994 closed the case

  4. SWB says

    Your last two paragraphs are quite strange. Was your apology facetious? And your sarcasm sincere. I don’t want you to feel that you can’t win, nor do I want to feel suckered. What’s up with this post?

  5. Bunny says

    Seriously, no longer am I requesting a Twighlight fan test…Idot test, I want an idiot test before people post.

  6. klk says

    You fuck,can’t you leave Michael alone,for Christ sake the man is dead. Don’t you have anything better to do with your time,like go in the closet and play with yourself!!!!!!!!!!

    We love MICHAEL

  7. JoeMomma says

    I’d like to add

    “He was so talented he never had to play an instrument.”
    “So talented that he needed other people to write songs for him so they could be at our level”
    “So great a dancer he needed a choreographer to hold him back”
    “So great a singer, he had to lip synch at concerts”
    “Such a moral person, he had to go on tv and tell the truth.”
    “Such a champion of human rights, that went to Saudi Arabia to challenge all the loose laws they have”
    “So modest a person, covered his face constantly.”
    “So giving a person, purchased unsellable items on eBay to help the sellers rating.”

  8. Elizabeth Orozco says

    You are so wierd & you call Michael creepy & wierd, He is a better man then you ever will be. Why are you that way? Michael is the best entertainer ever & the most beautiful men that ever lived so for you to say what you say makes you look low. He is my hero & I wish he was one of many instead of one of few which you obviously are not. I grew up with MIchael & watched him through highs & lows through my highs & lows & he had real class & grace. It is a shame he had to go through what he did especially from the media & people like you. He was a good person & was very much loved. I wonder if you will be remembered that way & if so for how long?

  9. ari says

    UH-HUH so you apologize and trash him anyway?

    If you want to trash him then why don’t you outright go and trash him? Using sarcasm in an article or a post after “apologizing” really shows your low level intelligence, so obviously you went to all that trouble to use sarcasm,yet you still sound like some idiotic High school retard.

    If you wanna trash, go to the mindless blobs.That’s probably where you belong =) BTW no brain needed

  10. Loz says

    It would be funny if any of it were actually based on truth. But you’re just accusing a dead man of being a pedophile – YET AGAIN – when he was acquitted in 2005 AND in 1993, and there’s FAR more evidence to suggest his innocence than any guilt (hence the acquittals, presumably).

    The rest of this site is absolutely amazing, these stories just sadden me more than anything.

  11. TBM says

    It’s almost like you mean the opposite of what you say. What newfangled kind of humor is this? BRILLIANT. (See, I can do it, too)

  12. angel-watcher says

    Just because we may occasionally glance at the foolishness you attempt to pass off for humor here does not mean that Michael Jackson fans and the public at large are to be taken for fools. Your apology is received in the manner in which it was delivered–with tongue planted firmly in cheek.

  13. peacock says

    Wow…and at first i actually thought that their was hope for souless media vampires. I’m fairly cetain that you are getting some kind of deviant high off of the hurt and anger expressed in the responses to the landfill that you call an article. There will not be a next for me to feed your HIGH. Steerin clear of your site from now on.

  14. sc341 says

    The “Bad” video wasn’t even filmed in Harlem, it was filmed in Brooklyn, so Whatever…..

  15. itsarap says

    You’re an ass. Do your homework, then use some common sense with analytical thinking. Serious research (time-consuming, yes–but you’ll learn something) vs. trendy mudslinging always wins points, hearts and notice.

    Your sophomoric commentary brings to mind how it could be that 19 men and women were sentenced to death in 1692 in Salem, MA, because of the initial accusations of one little girl. And this was long before the scheming fame-seekers of today who lick their chops at the notion of pairing extortion with good-hearted celebrities who are known to lavish their money on making others happy.

    Reading this and taking the time to set you straight with my response has netted another 30 minutes of my life I won’t get back.

  16. sc341 says

    I think that I take Snipes’ story with a grain of salt. “Bad” was filmed in Brooklyn from what I’ve read.

  17. MJwasodd says

    lololol. Still plenty of completely crazy MJ fans out there i see, presumeably trying to emulate their idol.
    Nice article, well written and funny.

  18. hoohaahee says

    To anyone that defends MJ, seriously: get lost.

    You idiots would swallow “mein kampf” if Hitler had some dance moves and a sparkly glove.

  19. Jenny says

    What a pig you are. People like you lived to destroy Michael in life, and now you won’t even give him the peace and respect he deserves in death. No other person on the face of the earth could ever understand what Michael had to endure, and yes, he was sheltered. He lived in fear. How would you feel if people were constantly trying to rip your hair out? He probably hadn’t been in the hood since he left Gary. So what he was afraid? I’m not particularly comfortable in those types of settings, either. You quip about a conspiracy, but do your research. It’s not so far off the mark. You can start with Dick Gregory’s piece on youtube. Then you can read the court transcripts from the Gavin Arvizo case and see how blatantly those kids were coached to lie, how Gavin’s mother stole from the welfare system, how she tried to accuse JC Penney’s of molesting her in the parking lot. They were so clearly after money, it’s ridiculous. They lied and said they needed money for Gavin’s cancer treatments, but insurance covered them. I could go on and on. DO YOUR HOMEWORK. And until you get your facts right, keep Michael’s name out of your mouth. We abused a gift that God gave us, so God took him home. You should be ashamed. I’ll never stop defending Michael as long as I have breath in my body. He was and is the greatest entertainer the world will ever know. I love you, Michael!

  20. neil says

    The Salem witch trials happened because the town was run by idiotic, puritanical Christians. Thank science that in the present day that doesn’t happen anymore in Ameri….Oh. Nevermind.

  21. JcGirl says

    Yada yada yada…you can trash Michael all you want,but the truth remains,Michael will be remembered as a musical prodigy, and you however,just a sad person looking for a dime by trashing another people. Wow,what a life! Hopefully bad karma won’t catch you.

  22. Asho says

    -Big deal he never played an instrument. The best musicians could NOT read music, Beethoven was deaf when he made one of his most famoust pieces of music. Let’s not limit ourselves.
    - he needed OTHERS to write his songs??? you are so mis-informed!!! his most famoust songs are of his writing & on an album you’ll find a LOT of the songs of his writing, singing… namely: Billie Jean, Beat it, Wanna be startin something from Thriller. (with the exception of thriller these are hte most famous written by him, accidentally, ONLY thriller sounds outdated ;) ) as for bad, with the exception of that wonderful Man in the mirror song: bad, dirty diana, another part of me… are of his writing
    Dangerous: Heal the world (need I say more)
    - He is a great dancer, by admission of Fred Astaire himself & the many others who have witnessed him. It’s true he more often than not used a choreographer, but he ALWAYS executed the moves better than him!
    - you think he didn’t have a GREAT voice? are we even talking about the same person?? he lipsynched because he was dancing & running around too much effort to sing at the same time. NOte that he got a grammy for his tribute to Sammy Davis JR (live on tv)
    - About the truth, well the autopsy showed FOR EXAMPLE, that he did have vitiligo, as for the other accusations they don’t deserve recognition
    - Guiness book of records, has put him once as the artist who most supports charities…

    That being said, he was not perfect he had his inner demons, his loneliness & his ‘spoiledness’… nevertheless better than A LOOOT of other celebrities/entertainers

  23. Gilbert Wham says

    getting some kind of deviant high

    God, yes. I’ve been chasing those ‘deviant highs’ for years…

  24. Jana Lalewicz says

    Yes folks!! The ‘apology’ was facetious & dripping with sarcasm. Ah but thats okay. For every assanine website such as this one that demeans MJ, there are plenty of other news sites that are ‘turning around’ so to speak. Leave these jackasses back in the 90′s with all the other mud-slingers who don’t quite ‘get it’ yet but are merely hopping on the MJ-hating bandwagon because they think they’re sooooo witty & the fans are all crazy. It will be THEY who are left behind & end up looking like fools as the legacy of Michael Jackson is revealed to be what he truly should be remembered for.

  25. Robyn says

    Did you *actually* “[grow] up with Michael”? As in, had tea at his mum’s house and ran around the street like little scamps? Or do you mean you grew up with his face on the shiny little light-up box in the corner of the room? Because, my love, you do realise that that’s called a television and that he’s not *actually* in the room with you?

    I mean, I began to doubt your sanity when I saw that you’d described him as “the most beautiful men that ever lived”. Keep taking the pills.

  26. Gavin Saunders says

    What does it say of a society and press at large that underwrites a judicial system that (after having spent years and many millions) is unable to enact a successful prosecution only to then persecute the defendant and not the prosescutor for wasting it’s money. Funny, do you think this is the type of waste and hypocrisy that is hated by much of the rest of the world?

  27. anonymous says

    Seriously, people that speak ill of Michael Jackson have no idea what they are talking about. Do your homework. One his bad day he was a better man than any of you that sit on here and bash someone you don’t even know. What happened to good journalism? Gone are the Walter Cronkites of the world and now all we have are these cheap replicas.

  28. Jez says

    Sorry to write this, but I guess in XXI century there is NOTHING TO READ. Just parasites, leeches, evil ppl, haters and the lowest level of journalism, EVER.

    Mocking good pple for money, destroying them for money (or sadistic pleasure, maybe, huh?0, greedy bi-tches is who you are.

    The age of stupidity.

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