We don’t know about you, but the tragic death of a youngster sure does make us salivate for money.
And we’re not the only ones, either, thanks to the genius of Tarino Lightbourne. Tarino Lightbourne was the first paramedic to arrive following the fatal seizure of John Travolta and Kelly Preston‘s 16-year-old son Jett earlier this month. And then, it’s alleged, he tried to extort $25 million from the boy’s grieving parents.
For apparently masterminding this John Travolta plot, Tarino Lightbourne has been charged with conspiracy to extort. Paramedic? Pah – the man was clearly born to be a bloody Bond villain.
Right, that’s it. We’re never going the Bahamas. Seriously. Especially if we have children. The Bahamas is not a good place for children. Look at Anna Nicole Smith – one of her kids died in the Bahamas, and it was claimed that she was only allowed to stay in the Bahamas because she may have had a roll-around on a bed with the island’s immigration minister.
But that’s just a one-off – Daniel Smith died because of a drug overdose, and if we’re honest we can all admit to sleeping with a government official at one point or another. Or at least it would be a one-off if the Bahamas wasn’t now primarily famous for breeding paramedics who’d happily try to extort you out of your life savings in the days following the death of your 16-year-old son.
Earlier this month Jett, the 16-year-old son of John Travolta and Kelly Preston, died in hospital following a seizure at his home. Which, sure, is sad for the Travoltas – but it’s a once-in-a-lifetime golden business opportunity for whoever got to arrive first at scene. And that man was paramedic Tarino Lightbourne.
According to People, Tarino Lightbourne has just been formally charged for allegedly trying to extort $25 million out of John Travolta in the days after Jett’s death:
Lightbourne, 47, pleaded not guilty to charges of attempting to extort and conspiracy to extort from Travolta after the death of the actor’s 16-year-old son, Jett, according to Bahamian Magistrate Carolita Bethel. So far, details of the alleged plot have not been made public. However, prosecutor Bernard Turner says police are looking for a “certain document” and believe they may not find it if Lightbourne is released.
We don’t know who to feel sorry for more, really – John Travolta or Tarino Lightbourne. OK, John Travolta has lost a son in genuinely tragic circumstances – but if Tarino Lightbourne is found guilty of extorting John Travolta out of millions of dollars, where does he go from here? Surely holding a family to ransom for enough money to buy a hundred gold-plated Ferraris at the height of their most unbearable grief is the extreme outer limit of his wankery.
There’s simply nowhere else he can go after that, apart from possibly sneaking around filling fire engines’ water tanks with petrol and shards of magnesium or literally taking a crap in Baby Jesus’ eye. The man has just peaked too soon. So, again, we’re not sure who deserves our pity more.
What’s that? John Travolta does? Right you are.
The Dread Pirate Sausage! says
I still don’t understand the whole “Medic tried to ‘EXTORT’ money out of John ‘Psychlo’ Travolta” thing.
Extortion is “the practice of obtaining by violence or compulsion.” So how would a medic compulse Travolta into giving him money? Was it extortion or blackmail? And why aren’t there any details to a story that’s already all over the media? =\
People are so crooked. I wonder what Travolta’s done.