Reese Witherspoon has always seemed?like a grown-up version of the character she played in “Election” … cute, but?uptight and a little priss-bitchy.?That's why the news of her arrest last Friday was such an unexpected joy. The world expects to wake up to news that Lindsay Lohan has been arrested. Even that Miley Cyrus wouldn’t?be a big surprise these days. But not precious, dainty Miss Reese.
Reese and her husband, Jim Toth, were arrested in Atlanta early Friday morning (Thursday night, for all intents and purposes). It appears that Old Jim was?driving under the influence, and Reese, evidently under the influence herself, got pretty feisty with the police officers arresting her man and got herself busted for disorderly conduct.
It’s pretty comical to imagine the scene as it’s described in the police reports ? a drunken, ideally slurring, Reese hanging out the car window and heckling the officers …?as if she had a cameo on an episode of Reno 911.
?Mrs. Witherspoon began to hang out the window and say that she did not believe that I was a real police officer.”
Supposedly, as Jim was being breathalyzed, etc., Reese jumped out of the car (a Ford Focus, which seems a sad car for an Academy Award-winning actress). The officers told her to get back into the car, and so she did ? but then popped out again.
According to the report (imagine her lurching and stumbling around), Reese started raving on about being ?a U.S. citizen? and that she was allowed to ?stand on American ground.? (Now picture Thomas Haden Church as the police officer.)
?Mrs. Witherspoon asked, ?Do you know my name?? I answered, ?No, I don't need to know your name.? I then added, ?right now.? Mrs. Witherspoon stated, ?You're about to find out who I am.? The report also specified, ?Mrs. Witherspoon also stated, ?You are going to be on national news.? I advised Mrs. Witherspoon that was fine.?
The police officer advised that it was fine!?Fuck you, Reese Witherspoon! That proud Georgian man of the law doesn't care about your name! In any case Reese and Jim were taken to jail, probably strip-searched, and then released.
Today, Reese released the following statement:
“Out of respect for the ongoing legal situation, I cannot comment on everything that is being reported right now. But I do want to say, I clearly had one drink too many and I am deeply embarrassed about the things I said. It was definitely a scary situation and I was frightened for my husband, but that is no excuse. I was disrespectful to the officer who was just doing his job. I have nothing but respect for the police and I’m very sorry for my behavior.”
I do like that she owned up to her actions, and I do like that she and her husband are partying … and apparently she does have a personality after all. The problem is this:?as despicable as drunk driving is, it's even more infuriating when people who are clearly?beyond rich do it. Call your assistant to pick you up.?Call a cab. Or a fucking limousine. A fleet of limousines. You can afford it.
CNJ says
Thank you so much for posting this story! It gave me such a laugh. I love that she got arrested. Now she’s a real person. I swear that Sweet Home Alabama personality gets on my nerves! And really, call a damn cab. They’re not making $40K a year.