There are lots of ways an actor can get into character for a specific role. Some crash-diet for a part while others move far away from a grateful family and friends to get themselves in the zone.
There really are several ways to nail a part. Matt Damon's preferred method, for instance, involves a lot of snapping people's faces in half and crushing their spines with big heavy plastic buckets filled with wheat or something.
Coincidentally, that's incredibly similar to hecklerspray's preferred acting method as well. Our mother says that's why they didn't ask us back for the fourth grade play – a shame too. We'd spent the entire year building up to it perfecting a pretty difficult stabbing motion.
Well Matt Damon's got a big fancy movie coming out. It's a Martin Scorsese film entitled The Departed, and in it Damon's character has to infiltrate the police on behalf of his ne'er-do-well crime syndicate. Now we know what you're thinking. A typical person's first thought of Matt Damon is generally of him cuddling a panda or caressing a crying orphan baby back to sleep. How can he possibly play someone so hard and wicked?
The answer there is simple: Matt Damon went on a real life crack-house raid with Boston police to learn exactly what a villain's face might look like when pressed up against a linoleum floor covered in shattered glass and pepper-spray. Damon describes his experience thusly:
"I didn't go in until they cleared the house and I was in the back with my bulletproof vest on. But I got an idea of the violent and aggressive world my character is in. All I knew about the state police up to then was limited to the times I'd been pulled over for speeding!"
That's heavy, man – yet we find it totally relatable. We went on a raid just like it last May – except instead of Boston police we accompanied Boise animal control, and instead of raiding a crack house we pulled a three-foot python out from under a paraplegic's porch. Apparently the snake had been trying to eat a raccoon's baby eggs making a whole big hubbub and what-not. With the vile serpent contained, we delicately placed the foaming mama raccoon back in her nest, where she seemed pretty happy to be reunited with the eggs she'd so recently laid out of her egg-vagina.
And if any of you are the smallest bit worried about the future of Idaho's raccoon population, don't be – because where that snake is going the only raccoon eggs she'll be eating will be state funded, scrambled, and accompanied by toast and/or apple juice.
Order is restored.
Read more:
Matt Walks The Police Beat To Prepare For New Movie – Tonight
[story by Shawn Lindseth]
thorek says
Raccoon eggs? May I suggest that you check out a biology book from the library and look up “mammals”. Then look up “platypus”.
Chris Gadda says
Racoons are mammals, and hence, do not lay eggs.
Pedro says
uh, guys? Ever heard of sarcasm?
beckles says
thanks a lot, now there’s soda spit all over my screen…egg-vagina, priceless!