Do you hate everything yet? Do you wake up angry, in cold sweats thinking “this is all just terrible. We have one chance at a viable, enjoyable life and yet the culture we digest is diluted, spoon-fed nonsense with people who are inexplicably famous, we should be worth far more than this” and then carve “4REAL” into your arm?
No? Well, here’s some news.
The Only Way is Essex (sigh) star (double sigh) Mark Wright is going to be included in an artform enjoyed by Kirk Douglas and Robert DeNiro as the boyfriend of Kelly Brook’s character in a film with Danny Dyer and oh don’t you just want to shoot people now?
We can only hazard guesses, but it’s probably safe to say that this news is about as welcome to the world of cinema as ZZ Top at a Leukaemia convention. Remember actors? They would act in things, and people who weren’t actors didn’t?
Mark Wright was quoted as saying literally nothing of value about the film, in which he stars with hard man – if hard man constitutes as someone who looks like too much of a?bed-wetter?to do PR for Coldplay (and UFO enthusiast) – Danny Dyer, who has a fantastic record in cinema, doesn’t he?
Christ.
“Insiders” have mentioned that Wright is trying to drop his Essex accent to have a crack at Hollywood, which shouldn’t even be worth saying, really, because “speaking differently” and “playing a character who isn’t you” is called “acting”. “Speech marks”.
Wright’s publicist, or “Talky Word Man”, said:
“He loves?The Business?and?Football Factory, so it’s a dream for him to work with Danny and Tamar. Add Kelly into the mix, he’s made up.”
Maybe this is proof that you can achieve anything if you’re a moron.
Kev says
Thankfully I’ve managed to avoid the heap of steaming ordure that this gobshite has emerged from, but I’ve heard enough about it during my enforced sessions of passive bullshitting in the office to thoroughly agree with the sentiments of this piece.
Kev says
I would like you to remove my last comment please, and this one if you could, its gonna be my job if you dont, were not allowed to go on websites like this for reasons i cant fully detail for you at the moment, but it would be appreciated if you could just delete these………
Well Im fucking waiting…..i can still see the comment that i wrote before…
HEY SHITHEAD……ERASE THE FUCKING COMMENTS would ya, ITS STILL FUCKING THERE….
You lot are so fucking slow, just fucking delete the comment already, WTF, are you complete idiots, i just told you my jobs on the fucking line…
Thanks assholes, if i lose my job its on your hands, slow moving BASTARDS !!!
Kev says
You are a moron and I claim my five pounds for spotting it.
What do you mean, I’m not the first to have spotted it?
Kev says
I spotted it wheres my 5 fucking quid !!!!!!
Kev says
Wheres my fucking Fiver………..you bastards are holding out, you better fucking pay me, I want my fuckin 5 quid bastards..
Kev says
WHERES MY FUCKING FIVER YOU IGNORANT TWATS, i spotted the moron and i need my money, Fuck !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kev says
Thats it !!!
Because you didnt send me my fiver i aint gonna leave any more comments on your fucking site !!!
You might laugh now, but when you realize that the only reason half your traffic was on here was to read my comments and you can no longer pay your bills, you will be sorry……….and all because you didnt gimme my money!!
Kev says
Listen, im gonna give you guys one more shot to make good on the money you owe me, so fucking pay up by the end of the week or i wont leave anymore comments, and believe me, im fucking serious !!!
Kev says
Ok i give up, keep the fiver, just delete all the previous posts that i wrote and i will forgive you.