Marilyn Manson Drunkenly Claims That He’s A Rock Star – The World Laughs & Continues Not To Buy His Records

Panto season must be upon us, as formerly-relevant perplexing poltroon and peddler of pretend-angst Brian Hugh Warner has once again unveiled his Halloween-night-Lily-Savage alter-ego ?Marilyn Manson? in an unsuccessful attempt to outrage/impress anyone who still gives two hoots during a boozy night out in Las Vegas.

The vain attempt to appear partially interesting involved Brian going out on the lash in the Born And Raised bar in suburban Vegas ? basically a provincial Yates?s from what we can gather. This was after, we assume, getting turned-away from any ?real? bars on the Strip all of whom have a strict ?no wankers? policy. Luckily Brian managed to make himself look like the utter weapon he is.

Highlights of the evening, courtesy of the man determined to turn his previously imagined reputation of ?controversial? into that of stone-cold-fact ?tiresome?, include:

  • Drinking absinthe, because Baudelaire did so it?s, like, totally cool, cultured and ?out-there?. Like the kerr-razy dude he is. On-lookers shrugged, we imagine.?Not remembering he unsuccessfully launched his own brand of ?Mansinthe? in 2008 (REALLY), which was variously described as being ?as bad as piss? (True).
  • Manning the karaoke machine and singing ?Cry Me A River? by Justin Timberlake. SIX bloody TIMES IN A ROW LIKE SOME SORT OF WOMAN WITH EMOTIONS AND THINGS.
  • Getting into the wrong limousine at the end of the night and getting hoyed-out of it ? basically the equivalent of unsuccessfully trying to jump somebody else?s taxi, a ritual we are all familiar with.
  • Ostentatiously brandishing a knife while awaiting the arrival of his own taxi/limo.

The latter is- of course- forgivable if one is a fifteen-year old wannabe hard-man trying to impress your mates after your first proper belly-full of Diamond White. You know, whilst ?having it large? in your local graveyard after everyone has told their parents they are spending the evening round each others? houses? It?s pretty wearying if you are a 42-year old man named Brian.

It is widely reported (by us) that Brian tried to justify this wholly underwhelming spectacle by saying ?Sorry I went nuts, but I?m a rock star!? to anyone listening.

His ?rock star? allegation was made despite all evidence to the contrary including, but not limited to – no major label contract, no album out in recent memory, not being Trent Reznor, no tour that anyone can remember and even his target audience of adolescent emo kids finding him a bit embarrassing.

Rumours that Brian Hugh Warner currently resides in his mother?s box-room and has been getting grief for stealing her concealer are unconfirmed at time of publication.

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  1. T-Cake says

    He should have just said “Okay, I’m done” ten years ago after producing two or three singles and re-making a Eurythmics tune. He certainly shouldn’t be out in public, mingling with society and looking like, well, Marilyn Manson.

  2. denali says

    you people are ignorant. his last tour was mayhem fest like 2 years ago in which he headlined along with slayer. fuckin stupid ass people. his new album is about to drop early 2012. have you ever been to his concerts??? im guessing no. i have been going since 98. his shows are amazing. he is an iconic rockstar. do alittle research before you talk out of your ass.

  3. Haplo says

    I would be interested to know the reason for this bashing of Mr. Manson.
    It’s not like he is in the news for his drinking habbits every week – and I think everyone deserves a little fun and drunkness once in a while.
    And while you present a fascinating dislike of Mr. Manson, his work, his persona and his fans (btw – what influence does M.M. have on who becomes a fan of his music??)
    you sadly fail to show any integrity and expertise in your work.
    Apart from the huge ad hominem-part of your “story” (that has no baring on any facts of real life or the topic at hand) this over-opinionated piece of work does not conclusively show WHY Mr. Manson is supposed to be this “wanker”, as you slander-ishly call him.
    Apart fom open sexism and a false understanding / complete ignorance of the body of work of Mr. Manson you have also shown that you are not better than the hyena of the gossip “media” by jumping on the workds of a drunk man and taking them at face-value.
    Apart from the impossibility to always, always say things that you have thought about and that are pleasant and agreeable to everyone you again FAIL to aknowledge Mr. Manson’s part in recent and contemporary music history as a well-liked, intelligent celebrity and, yes, a ROCK STAR, badass dude, philantopist and thought-provoker.
    It is true that Mr. Manson may appear as a “wanker” to you and it is nice that you can voice your opinion.
    It is also nice that anybody who will read this will know to ignore it in the future.
    I wish harm to no man – as does Mr. Manson, I think – and so I will not tell you to go die in a fire.
    I will, however, tell you to INFORM yourself better and face the reality that your opinion is, by no stretch of the imagination, convincing nor is it relevant.
    We have, like, PROFESSIONALS for that.

  4. Paul Pencotts' Va-J-J says

    Deep thoughts…

    If this website is “Gossip For Grown Ups”, why have they allowed a teenager to write this article??

  5. Nothing On says

    Hey Jo,

    You shouldn’t speak before you know all of the facts. I’m a HUGE Manson fan and I never wear clothes!

  6. Nothing On says

    I’m actually rather fit…I meant I’m HUGE down there!

    A poncho should do the trick, though. Safety first.


  7. Robert Parmann says

    Please disseminate: Urgent: No bullshit. I am just a Messenger.

    If anyone can get hold of Brian H. Warner (aka, MManson), He needs to be informed that there is a sad individual by the name of “Veronica Addams” that needs his immediate attention in Dallas, Tx. Veronica is sending out an S.O.S. thru a second party to Brian. Brian knows Veronica’s true birthname, birthplace, and her mother’s name, including Veronica’s scientific interest in a particular aquatic species found in Rain Forest Ponds, named “BUFO”. If He gets this message, if at all, HE will know. He WILL know. He must contact Houston to make the connection to Dallas where Veronica is “confined”.