It's so easy to become richer than your wildest dreams – all you need is a mockney husband, a giant glittery crucifix and a ghastly purple leotard that shows off your old lady's tumpsy in more detail than anyone really wanted.
As far as we can tell, that's been Madonna's trick, and it seems to have done OK for her – a Forbes survey has declared that Madonna is the richest woman in music, earning about $72 million a year.
Ask yourself this, though – does all that money make Madonna happy? Yes, of course it does. But does it make her look less wrinkled and veiny? No is does not. Ergo we win.
In six months' time, Madonna will turn 50. But does this mean she'll start taking up traditional 50-year-old woman pursuits like jam-making, attending WI coffee mornings and crocheting little cardigans for all the babies you've just realised you're too old to have?
No way. Because Madonna, right, is effing loaded.
OK, that's not really a big surprise – in 2006 Madonna completed the highest-grossing tour by any female in history, plus she signed that ridiculously huge record deal with Live Nation that'll keep her in leotards for the next decade. So that's this year and 2006 dealt with, but how much money did Madonna make in 2007?
According to the Forbes 'Cash Queens Of Music' list, the answer is 'a bloody great shitload'. Reuters reports:
Pop star Madonna is still the material girl, earning $72 million in a recent 12-month period to top a Forbes.com list of female singers whom the financial Web site dubbed "Cash Queens of Music." … The Web site tracked earnings in the period from June 2006 to June 2007 and said it examined concert ticket sales, merchandise revenue, album sales and earnings from ancillary products such as clothing, perfumes and endorsements.
You just have to sit back and applaud Madonna for earning a gigantic figure like that, don't you? And it's all the more impressive when you realise that she's basically a middle-aged failed star of erotic thrillers who makes her living by monomaniacally chasing every single hot new trend she gets a sniff of.
And all that's without a perfume, too. In an age when every two-bit reality TV schmo has got their own fragrance line, imagine how popular a perfume by a megastar as big as Madonna would be. Unless of course it smelt like Madonna, which we'd imagine to be a mixture of Botox and pickled vulvas.
Rounding out the Forbes Cash Queens Of Music top five, in case you were interested, were Shakira and Beyonce with earnings of $38m and $27m respectively. Proof then, that getting rich from being almost naked and jiggling around isn't something confined to the horrifically old.
Finally, let's not forget that Madonna is married to Guy Ritchie, so their household earnings must be incredible – we'd guess at least $72 million plus that £3.50 that Guy earnt cleaning windscreens at traffic lights last summer.
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Leslie says
FYI – I have nightmares every time you post that picture.
soshoreguy says
Stop hating because she’s good at what she does. No, traditionally, almsot 50 yo women should not wear leotards, but this is Madonna we are talking about. She still have a great body btw. However, I do agree that leotards on ANYONE is not a good look.
So you acknowledge she is rich, but sounds like you are not a fan. As long as journalist’s, like yourself, keep writing good and bad stuff about her…she’ll keep raking in the cash ;)
gir says
Why is everyone so focused on money? I may be poor and living in a cardboard box in Lake Erie and eating things I can find in a landfill underneath all those copies of ET the video game and Spice Girls CDs but at the end of the day I can still sit back in my discarded La-Z-Boy that stabs me in the kidneys every time I recline and I can say, “Hey, at least I’m not a soulless faux-spiritual cultural shapeshifter who sniffs at the heels of every trend as though some kind of Material Bloodhound like Madonna.”
Joe says
Madonna is not only one of the richest women in the planet, but she is also the most successful, famous, and influential woman in music! She looks incredibly HOT for her age with a better body then that of a 25 year old, and her music still sells millions worldwide. Like it or not Madonna is a cutural icon who after all this years she is still on top.
brushpicks says
Hahaha! There are gays and there are fags, and this sexist Stuart Heritage fag is a laugh, his jealousy oozing all over the place. Well, for good reason, he’s a two-bit writer (sorry soshoreguy, but you’re just too kind to call him a “journalist”) with NOTHING to show for his sorry existence. And he’d grow old and wrinkly like a prune thrown out the desert road, too, like the rest of the ageist Madonna haters, IF he is not one already. As for Madonna? She’s RICH, FAMOUS, and still GORGEOUS. Again, MADONNA WINS. And, alas, his attempt at cattiness falls as flat as the lives of Madonna bashers.
As to gir, puhleeease. You are too obvious. Get your lazy, hating, jealous ass off your lazyboy and stop feeling sorry for yourself– it will do your kidneys good.
gir says
Uh, exCUSE me, but I would never stoop to scavenging generic knock-offs of discarded recliners, dipshit.
I only sit in the finest castoffs found on garbage day in the ritziest neighborhoods. La-Z-Boy: for bums that only accept the best.
Nat says
I really don’t understand why people are so rude when it comes down to being a 50, a singer, a woman, and being the most successful female singer in the world…
oh…well; let me think… yes!! Isee!! it’s called JEALOUSY!!!! Honestly, dear journalist, you should continue writing about her: it’s going to make her even richer and more successful than you can imagine!!!
Simone says
WOW! I’m 31 years old. I might as well kill myself when I turn 50 because no matter how hard I try to stay looking good or to be successful I will never gain respect simply because I will be 50. Why even try right? Talk about ageism. sexism. An older woman who is successful beyond believe is the biggest threat to the male ego. Madonna has a legion of fans. Do you?
Cleber de Souza Bezerra says
What is the matter with you? Madonna works hard and deserves every cent she has gotten. You write this stuff and think you have a profession. Get a real job.
vibram says
So I agree with everyone on the editing job here. VERY well done! :-) However, am I the only die-hard Madonna fan that was semi DEVESTATED that the ReInvention performance of Papa Don
HerbalD says
For the record I am a Madonna fan. I saw her start as a taboo in the 80’s and flourish into a performer that paved the way for the GaGa’s & Britney’s in the world of entertainment. If she works hard to keep her body in tact then heck ya, show it off. Better than walking down the street seeing that woman 50 sizes too big to be in that tiny little cut off (nothing personal, it’s not my cup of tea).
She’s vegan (in case you didn’t know this makes her humane & positively effects our environment), studies Kabbalah, and has a vegan chef that feeds her lovely family. Whatever her personal issues are I have no concern for. I look up to her for starting at the bottom but not just for making her way to the top, more-so for staying there and being an example of a strong woman who did not let society and journalism dig her career six feet under for her…in spite of all of the horrific gasps due to her rebellious nature.
Love her, or hate her she is still a solid example of a successful American Woman!
Brent says
I’d do her!
kenneth kwapvel lawrence says
Whatever, she is rich. She gots her loopholes, just like any other person. What is the differces? Oh… There is, she makes fortunes out of hers.
graham says
madonna,lyp syncher who cant sing,lets see her on a stage with just a microphone and sing live,shes pathetic a old lady trying to be nineteen,shes an embaresment and has never had any class or style,she is a product of the media and mtv who would sell her soul to the devil for a headline,shes so vulgar and vile,what has happened to real stars who have class and grace madonna has none,she is a vile excuse for a human being and her moronic fans are just as delusional,shes so yesterday,give it up now ,pleeeeease.
Planet of the 8ths says
She deserves it! She’s been doing her thing longer than many other music artists and she’s iconic!