Yesterday we looked at the chances of each female Love Island contestant has of winning the show. Today we're doing the same with the men. Tomorrow we're going to cry ourselves to sleep for having to watch Love Island every day.
What's happened on Love Island lately? Do you really want to know? Oh, OK then – there's a new girl on Love Island who looks just about as much fun as standing next to a luggage carousel for a month. And that's all that's happened – except for Sophie Anderton shouting at Paul Danan so much that he might have left Love Island for good. Which we're treating as a good thing because it means Love Island could feasibly be a week shorter now.
But which of the male Love Island contestants is going to win? Here are the Love Island betting odds for the boys, with betting odds coming from PaddyPower.com…
Chris Brosnan – Chris Brosnan is a stone-cold lesson that you can't succeed in life by swanning around dining out on the fact that your Dad was a mediocre James Bond. For two weeks running Chris Brosnan has been on the shortlist for the Love Island chop, and has been saved only by extreme circumstances – first because Alicia Douvall legged it before she got the chop, and second because lanky rubbish old Lady Victoria Hervey is roughly as popular as a virulent case of herpes. His time is probably coming. Probably. Current Love Island betting odds – 33/1
Paul Danan – We still can't over the fact that some ITV bigwig thought that Paul Danan – a man so extraordinarily unpleasant that he makes Spiral from Big Brother look like Santa Claus – entering Love Island would bulk up the viewing figures. If anything, and we really thought we'd see ourselves writing this, Paul Danan just makes us nostalgic for last year's Love Island, which was classic highbrow television compared with this year's shitheap of a show. And you know things are bad if Paul Danan walks out. Current Love Island betting odds – 20/1
Brendan Cole – One of the best things about Love Island is the inclusion of Brendan Cole. Obviously, being the highly-strung arrogant dancer on a rubbish show about dancing wasn't enough exposure for Brendan Cole, and so he decided to go onto a primetime, flagship show like Love Island to boost his visibility. Only problem is that Love Island is now watched by about 12 people, and only three or four of them actually care about any of the preening tossers on the show. If it means that Brendan Cole slips into obscurity a little bit faster, so much the better. Current Love Island betting odds – 14/1
Leo Ihenacho – Leo Ihenacho seems to be the only man with a real connection to any of the Love Island females – he's spending every waking moment simpering over Bianca Gascoinge like a lovesick teenager. This is the sort of thing that Love Island viewers would love, if a) they knew who Leo was or b) Love Island actually had any viewers. Current Love Island betting odds – 9/1
Lee Otway – It's a special kind of show where a weird foetus of a boy like Lee Otway can emerge as second favourite to win, but that's Love Island for you – special. Special as in special needs, mind you, but that's special enough. Lee Otway is a real frontrunner to win Love Island, which isn't bad for a creepy little tantrum-throwing toddler like him. Current Love Island betting odds – 5/2
Shayne Lynch – Shayne's hilarious new Love Island nickname is Father Shayne, because he is olde and wyse and follows the path of righteousness no matter what. And he's never, ever going to have sex – at least not with Sophie Anderton. And it'd be nice if took a vow of silence once in a while. Yes, we know it's monks and not priests who take a vow of silence, but we just think it'd be nice if Shayne kept his well-balanced tartuffery to himself for a change. Current Love Island betting odds – 4/9
Coming soon – more Love Island betting odds! But until then, don't forget to check out the latest Love Island betting odds, from any number of these brilliant betting websites. Good luck!
Hecklerspray recommends:
Free £25 bet at SportingOdds.com
Free bets or £100 cashback at SportingIndex
[story by Stuart Heritage]
Brad Mullet says
They should play a really nasty trick on Shane Lynch, say get him wasted and have him wake up naked next to Sophie Anderton. Sophie would tell him they’d shagged all night up against a palm tree and she was now expecting his brat. Would that liven things up enough?