It's all over. Six series, 121 episodes, a few plane crashes and an omnipotent canine, and all Lost boiled down to was a giant tampon in the middle of the Island. Brilliant.
We could go down the easy route of bringing up the copious amounts of plot holes, strewn across the Island landscape like the forgotten dead, not worthy enough of resurrection for the climatic hug-a-thon, but we won't.
we're in a state of perpetual denial. We've been spending the last week walking around vacant church grounds, hugging anyone that we see, hoping for a taste of sweet nirvana. Every coffin, every yellow-faced pooch, any whiff of an abusive father and we found ourselves gasping to hold back the tears.
When we finally regained composure, it was obvious that Lost as a series has been building up to this episode from day one. Jack, Locke, Kate, Sawyer, all their destinies were built around Jacob?s grand plan: a giant IT problem. Didn't Jacob know that he only had to switch it off and on?
The finale took an amusing turn early on when both Jack and Cocke?s plans for good/evil involved the two of them walking through the jungle hand in hand. The two continued to bicker about which scheme was going to work whilst poor Desmond was caught in the middle like a child being dragged around by his parents on the bitter verge of divorce.
It seemed both were right and wrong. Once Desmond had removed the Island Tampon, all hell broke loose, vigorously shaking the tropical paradise like a cardboard set from the 60s. This left Cocke enough time to make a swift exit (via the boat that had somehow got from Dharma island over to the mainland?) and for Jack to finally destroy something ? Cocke!
The climatic fight had everything you'd ever want: rain, gurning, two middle-aged men who looked like they?d keel over before they reached each other. It was all kinds of epic. The kinds of epic that we saw back when The Matrix Revolutions came out in 2003 – now with a cool jumping punch from Jack (that was rudely changed into another shot post-ad break).
Once Cocke was killed (with much chagrin, by Kate) the Islanders could be on their way for the merry goodbyes and hop-off on the plane, piloted by Frank (who was kept around all series for this sole purpose). Poor Jack was stabbed, though, having to make his way to turn the Island back on. Not before making Hurley the new Jacob, who then makes Ben his number two. Has this guy not seen anything Ben has done? He has been responsible for nearly every death on the show, including Libby?s! It's all water under the bridge/inexplicable light source now, we guess.
Back in sideways world, all was revealed. It was purgatory all along. We can't help but wonder if it's a joke of the producers, constantly verbatim ?it's not purgatory? for so many years that they stuck it in there at the very end as a one fingered salute as they collect their last paycheques. We at least find that admirable.
So as the cast past and present all come together in the church, Jack?s dad lays on the religious message, wrings a few tears out of Jack and lets him get on with the mass existential orgy that proceeds. As they all sit, open-eyed at the world around them, mouths open, gawping into the increasingly encompassing light like the special school just rolled into town, Hecklerspray feels something. Something they haven't felt since?
Misty eyed, we laid down – no dog to accompany us, just empty crisp packets and our Jonathan Creek boxset – we were part baffled, part content. It was over. We could now move on. Not to some spiritual world, mind ? that would be a load of pretentious bollocks. No, we're going to watch something that makes sense? like Emmerdale.
Check back here soon for our list of Lost?s 10 Greatest Plot Holes.
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Tom J says
I would like to remind everyone one that you (and I) wasted over 80 HOURS of our life on that nonsense – and that’s not even including the ad breaks. 80 effing hours that we’ll never get back. That’s the writer’s final reveal – never mind the characters, we’re the ones who have been in purgatory.
stella says
You, too, have disappointed me! I’d expect something much more searingly poignant from sparkling wits like you. I guess you’re still woolly after the initial shock.
Actually Hurley tipped us off quite some time ago,
Pam says
First of all – I was very disappointed by the ending, so I’m not a blind fan defending the indefensible…BUT:
At the end they were all dead because everybody dies eventually. THEY WERE NOT DEAD ALL ALONG, for F’s sake!
Did you even hear the sappy words Jack’s father said at the end? ONLY the flash sideways (“alternative universe”/whatever-you-want-to-call-it) were purgatory, everything else DID happen and they WERE alive.
Was the ending lazy and unimaginative? Hell yes.
Did they leave MANY important questions unanswered? Damn right.
Should we feel cheated on because they wasted our time all these years? Maybe. But at least it was entertaining while it lasted.
Damon says
I was disappointed to learn that Haley Joel Osment wasn’t at the church to help everyone cross over. Maybe I missed it and the island was the metaphor used in his place?