Honestly, it's not a good time to be a child in Lost. No sooner had Goat Baby been abandoned by its crusty crazy mother, now poor Ji Yeon has been made an orphan because her parents decided to be selfish and drown, like they were starring in a 1997 boat movie. Bastards.
At least we were right all along, and now we can fully announce that it was true: The Man in Black is a Cocke. He finally gets the Losties to the plane, which he was planning on using all season, then quickly changes his mind and heads for the submarine. That's not before he efficiently kills a couple of goons and nicks Widmore?s C4.
It's also in another pointless turn that our disbanded group from last week are reunited after around five minutes and decide to all work together again. We got a little bit of Black Smoke action as well, tearing through Widmore?s camp, but deciding not to just kill Widmore then and there. Our current theory has the two working together. They?re both old and bald, and that's all the well thought-out logic we need.In sideways land, we had Jack flexing his compulsive ego in Locke?s legs direction. Driven insane on why Locke doesn't want some revolutionary surgery to restore his legs, he goes on an Easter egg hunt to find out the hidden secrets.
Along the way he meets Bernard ? who flatters himself by claiming Jack flirted with his wife, Rose – Claire and Locke, all of whom he realises were on Oceanic Flight 815. The weirdness didn't end there, with another Lost quote-a-thon being spieled by everyone; “Whatever happened, happened”, “Push the button” and “I wish you had believed me.” All being fan favourites shoehorned in some sort of pseudo significance.
When it came down to it, Locke was crippled because he nosedived a plane and turned his (evil) father into a drooling vegetable, now feeling like he has to punish himself for it. Not a particularly funny sentence, that one?
We've got gunfire galore in the episode; a minute barely passes by with someone unloading furiously at another party. This culminated in an extended shootout at the submarine dock; a scene that was really subtle – really subtle – especially that bit when Locke passes Jack a bag. Did we say it was really subtle?
Well, Sawyer thought he got one over on that Cocke ‘son of a bitch’, locking him (and Claire) out of the sub and diving off. Except, that bald bandit has only stuck a bomb with them (in that bag, in a moment you never saw coming). It came down to a matter of faith and what we are sure is a plot hole (surely if Jack tried to defuse the bomb they wouldn't die?). It doesn't matter because Sawyer triggered it and it all looked doomed for our survivors.
Except that wonky-accented actor who used to play Sayid came along, saved everyone and blew himself up. See, he wasn?t pointless this season. Then the sub crashed and Frank got his one word of the episode, before being killed by a door. See, he wasn?t? actually he was pointless this season.
Jin and Sun died as well. Whatever. You didn't even mention your child, you selfish, inconsiderate deadwood. To add insult to injury, Kate got shot and survived. That’s enough of a depressing emotional wallop to make us want to cry.
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stella says
It’s all Jack the Patsy’s fault. He’s like a retard, doing whatever anyone asks him to. This episode made a point: the more you try to escape from your destiny, the closer you actually get to it.
So, drooling sissy Jack might as well do more good by doing nothing, instead of trying to be all things to all men.
Probably two timelines can’t co-exist, one of them will have to disappear, I bet the one with sweet reformed and repented doppelgangers will be left.