Lindsay Lohan, the dangerous and notorious serial chocolate-stealer, is behind bars. Finally.
Oh, what’s that? Lindsay is only in jail because she can’t work her iPhone well enough to set her dates and attend the required number of alcohol education classes. Oh. Isn’t there a ‘Stay Out of Jail, Dumbass‘ App for that? There isn’t? There should be, dammit. How else are celebrities supposed to skate around the law, with grace last seen in Tourville and Dean, and take classes at their leisure rather than do hard time.
Okay, ‘hard time’ isn’t all that hard – usually requiring isolation from non-famous inmates and often serving minutes of their week’s long sentences. But, no matter.
Lindsay is in jail, after being ordered to surrender herself to the Beverly Hills Courthouse, 19 July. The actress was asked to surrender at 8:30 a.m. PST local time, in LA, on the West Coast. This being the case, Lindsay left home at 8:24 a.m. PST. She arrived at 8:37 a.m.. We’re guessing if she can’t work Apps, she can’t work out how to set her alarm either. What the heck is that? She was nearly 10 minutes late for court, and no one batted an eyelid.
Lindsay’s parents arrived, separately, before she did. The star later arrived to a waiting press pack, with lawyer Shawn Chapman Holley in tow. Incidentally, it was noted during TMZ’s (now expired) feed that famewhore lawyer Robert Shapiro was never her legal council – merely an unofficial advisor. Holley was never out of the picture in the court’s eyes, despite reports to the contrary.
The entire thing was live-streamed on TMZ, E! Online, and others. Not that it mattered as her court entrance was pretty much over in 10 seconds from the time she left her car. She went through security, then into court to see the judge who ruined the fun by ordering that all cameras be turned off and that no photos be taken with her in handcuffs.
Spoil sport.
We don’t know whether to send judge Marsha Revel a muffin basket for incarcerating Cady Heron (it’s pronounced like ‘Katie’), or put flaming dog poo on her doorstep for ruining ‘Lindsay Lohan Goes to Jail Day‘. We’ll probably be doing the muffin thing.
This was a guest blog by the extraordinary Amy Grindhouse.
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TODHD says
I hope Lindsay uses this time in jail to realize the direction that her life is going in if she does not straighten up