Bobby Brown’s son Brandon Brown has revealed he was once seduced by Lindsay Lohan in a bathroom.
It’s a typical (Bobby Brown-like) boy meets (Lindsay Lohan-like) girl story: They meet at a party. They both think ‘ooh, he/she’s fit’. Boy goes to the toilet for a piss. Girl, perhaps aroused by the potential to orgasm while simultaneously inhaling men’s stale urine, follows him in. They have sex. They are now primed to have their first conversation:
Lindsay: Pass us some tissue. Cheers. So, what’s your name and what do you do?
Brandon: My name’s Brandon. My official job title is ‘son’. And you?
Lindsay: My name’s Lindsay. I was in a film once and became a celebrity – I played a squeaky clean sweetheart who became an icon for youngsters. Now I do things like toilet sex.
Brandon: We’re both quite dull and expendable in the grand scheme of things.
Lindsay: Yep. I wish I was doing something more worthwhile, like writing about the crap people like me and you get up to for a living.
And so boy realises girl’s personality is like Lindsay Lohan’s. Girl realises boy’s personality is a lot like Bobby Brown’s – relationship ends.
Little is known about Brandon Brown, aside from the fact that he carries half of the ‘Two can play that game’ maestro’s genetics. However, from this we can scientifically deduce that he is at least 50% bell end.
The reported seduction took place in a West Hollywood nightclub two years ago. Brandon Brown told The Sun:
Me and Lindsay got really, really close. She followed me to the bathroom during a private party, and, well, we basically got together. I think she knew who I was when she first saw me. We were just staring at each other and she walked by. I walked into the bathroom and she followed me in.
And who said romance was dead? But, Brandon, how on earth did this Romeo and Juliet story end? He continued:
It didn’t end badly, but it did end weird. I’m actually trying to get back in touch with her – really soon.
Weirdly. It ended weirdly.
Good story.
toolahroolahroolah says
Well, if Lohan is ever constipated…